


I Would Move Mountains

by indigomini



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Lucky One (Music Video), Alternate Universe - MAMA (Music Video), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 35,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigomini/pseuds/indigomini
Summary: Kyungsoo lives on a little floating fishing village. One day a man appears, seemingly out of thin air, and reveals his life isn't as simple as it seems.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this thought about mama!au and luckyone!au, and I wonder how it would go if the audience would know basically what was going on already, but the characters didn't. It ended up being harder to write than I thought, but it's a fun exercise?  
> Also a reminder, here are their mama powers:  
> Kai: teleportation  
> D.O.: earth  
> Lay: healing  
> Chanyeol: fire  
> Suho: water  
> Luhan: telepathy  
> Kris: flight  
> Baekhyun: light  
> Sehun: wind  
> Tao: time control  
> Chen: lightning  
> Xiumin: ice

Kyungsoo dips his feet into the water, laying back against the wooden pier and letting the remaining sun warm his body, seeing the bright red-orange through his eyelids. He loves this time, where everyone's packing away their day and heading home for dinner. It's so peaceful. Maybe omma managed to get some duck or quails today, and they won't be eating fish for the sixth time this week. The current moves between his toes, and he can almost imagine if it was coarse sand instead, like the beach on the other side of the river.

_ Splash _ !

His eyes blink open, and Kyungsoo ponders if he should attempt catching it. That sounded like a big fish.

" _ Pargh! _ "  _ Splash _ .

_ That _ didn't sound like a fish. Kyungsoo pulls himself to sitting and tries to find the source of the sound. A couple seconds later, a hand flails out of the water. He stares at it. A head pops up, spitting and coughing. "Help!" it cried before it dips back down again.

Kyungsoo sighs and slides into the water, swimming over to the drowning person. The water was colder than he expected. He wades in closer, reaching out to grab the man's arm, and ends up getting pulled under as the other man panics. Kyungsoo manages to come up for air enough to sputter out, "Calm down — or you'll kill us both!" At least that slowed him down somewhat, just clinging to Kyungsoo like a koala now versus trying to use him as a ladder and climb out. It's rough, carrying both their weights, but Kyungsoo manages to break into the surface of the water and sidestroke back to the pier. 

"What were you doing in the water if you can't swim, you idiot?" Kyungsoo shouts out a bit later, after they've both finished their coughing competition. He was shaking, and the sun had managed to almost completely disappear in that small amount of time, taking all of its warmth with it.

"I missed..." grumbles the man quietly, staring down at the floor. He was shivering too. Kyungsoo doesn't recognize him. A tourist? This isn't the time of year for tourists. Perhaps he was visiting family, although as far as he knew, everyone here only had family here on this little floating village on the river.

"Did you fall off your boat?" Kyungsoo asks. He didn't see any unsupervised boats. The man's teeth were chattering now, his knuckles blanching white and his lips had a blueish hue. He finally looks up at Kyungsoo and...pouts? Or he makes a pretty good effort to anyway. "Are you staying near here?" Kyungsoo asks, forcing himself to stand up and offer a hand to the other man, who shakily takes it and pulls himself to standing. He doesn't let go, which is weird, but he was probably in shock, so Kyungsoo is polite and allows it. He repeats his question.

The man lets out a small chuckle, a shiver taking it away the next moment. "Nowhere near here," he says, looking down at their hands. His was still freezing. Kyungsoo sandwiches it with his other, warming it up.

"Come on then," he sighs, letting go after a reassuring pat,  looking up at the dark sky. "My family's house is right over here." They huddle close, the man crossing his arms tightly across his chest as he sputters out small hisses between his teeth. Kyungsoo looks over at him curiously. He was almost a head taller than Kyungsoo, stick skinny, and dressed in way too nice of clothes to be in a fishing village. 

They make it to the small huts sitting on stilts, and Kyungsoo leads him into the second one on the right. His family look up from the dining table as the door closes. At least the room was warm thanks to the fire in the kitchen. The other man manages to hunch his shoulders and look small, hiding behind Kyungsoo as he trails him toward the hearth, sighing in relief and holding his hands out.

"What happened, Kyungsoo?" his mother asks, standing up and walking hurriedly over to them. She stares at the other man's face, eyes turning to nearly perfect disks. "...What's going on?"

"This dude," Kyungsoo says, thumbing the air at him. "He fell in the water. I rescued him."

"Jongin," the man whispers, eyes fixed on his face. He looked miserable.

"Jongin. I'm Kyungsoo," he offers back, watching the man look even sadder. "It's okay. Nobody's hurt. We can feed you, right omma?" His mom's face still hasn't relaxed, and he puts a hand on her arm. "We're both okay, omma. We're fine."

It's awkward, but Kyungsoo leads him over to his and Seungsoo's shared room and offers Jongin some dry clothes. He turns to the other corner of the room, sloughing off his own clingy clothing and changing into a similar t-shirt and sweats. The clothes are too short on Jongin, and he's so skinny, they drape poorly on him.

They settle back down around the table and his mom pours an extra bowl of fish stew for Jongin, who sits opposite of Kyungsoo, closest to the fire, and stares silently at him. Kyungsoo returns the look with a confused one. Is he trying to signal to not tell his family about Jongin falling in the water? Cat's out of the bag there. He didn't look so much embarrassed as disappointed.

His father clears his throat in the silence. "So...Jongin... Will you be staying long?" And Kyungsoo gapes at him. He would have been skinned for saying something like this to a guest.

Jongin shakes his head, taking small bites of his stew, still not taking his eyes off of Kyungsoo. "I'll be leaving after this. Thank you," he says softly. Really, he has no reason to look so sad.

"You're not staying around here," Kyungsoo says. "So how are you headed back? It's pitch black right now. If you fall in the river again, nobody will even be able to see you to fish you out."

"I'll be okay," Jongin mutters, dropping his gaze finally into his bowl.

Seungsoo eventually saves the dinner, talking about how he saw a bat in one of the storage buildings. They circle back somehow to Seungsoo's last birthday, and his parents go oddly quiet, looking over at the stranger. Kyungsoo waves them off and explains to Jongin that he fell off the pier recently too. He actually cracked his head on the rocks in the shallows, and basically lost a year worth of memories.

"It left a pretty cool scar though." Kyungsoo's chuckles end awkwardly from the silence he receives. Jongin didn't seem impressed at his amnesia story. He clears his throat, looking around the table. Everyone was done. He didn't get the somber mood. Kyungsoo stands up and gathers the bowls to wash. Jongin rises to help him, but his parents insist that the guest shouldn't do anything, and they will take care of it.

Jongin's fingers twitch as they stand outside of the house later, and he looks down at them, pout back on his face again. Kyungsoo tries to be patient, but a breeze was picking up and the temperature was dropping. He shivers and runs his hands up and down his arms, trying to keep warm.

"Can I come back tomorrow?" Jongin asks nervously.

"Huh?" Kyungsoo replies. Today has been so weird. Everyone has been weird. This guy definitely has been really weird. "Uh...sure, I guess?" He wants to bombard him with questions, but Jongin nods, more to himself, and turns on his heel, walking briskly away.

"Hey, wait!" Kyungsoo yells, padding barefoot after him. Jongin ignores him and turns the corner, and Kyungsoo breaks into a jog now. But he curves the bend, and Jongin is nowhere to be seen. He panics and leans over the side of the walkway, trying to look into the black water. There was no splash though, just a sizzling smell and a strange static in the air.

Did he just save a ghost?

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Kyungsoo maintains that it could not have been a ghost. Or at least, it couldn't have been a figment of his imagination. His whole family saw him too. He ate their food. Could ghosts eat? You'd think ghosts could swim or...hover at least. He could hardly sleep last night, wondering what had happened.

Morning comes though, and his mother bangs on his door for him to hurry up. They load their pots and small bowls into the long raft and Kyungsoo sails off toward the fishermen, hollering out today's selection. It's a slow day. Nothing's biting, the nets are coming up empty or light, and it makes for bad appetites and tight pockets. Kyungsoo doesn't sell out until late afternoon, and by then it doesn't make sense to restock and go for a second round. It's not good for business, but at least he got done a little early. He heads back to the pier. It's his favorite spot in the whole village. You can see the little beach on the riverbank from there, and just make out the rooftops of some houses on the land. It looked so pretty. Like a painting.

The air feels charged suddenly. Heavier, like it was about to storm. He runs his fingers through his hair, laying it back down flat as some strands started standing. Footsteps approach, and Kyungsoo turns. Jongin was walking toward him, another man in tow. Kyungsoo stands up to greet them, looking curiously between the two. Jongin seemed out of breath, whereas the other man was green, sagging some of his weight onto Jongin's side, his hand resting on Jongin's shoulder.

"Hey..." Kyungsoo says, eyes darting between the two. "You're back."

Jongin nods, looking impatiently over at the other man, who shoots him a glare before turning to Kyungsoo. "Hello," he says weakly, giving a thin lipped smile. He looks like he wants to vomit.

"How the heck did you get here if you get seasick?" Kyungsoo asks. He reconsiders his sentence. "Actually, just...if you need to throw up, do it over there please." He points over to the abandoned chum bucket behind a post, and the man looks like he was thinking about it.

"This is Yixing..." Jongin says softly, his eyes softening as he pats the other man's shoulders.

"Where did you go last night?" Kyungsoo asks, dying of curiousity. He wasn't sure Jongin would come back today. He wasn't even sure if Jongin was  _ real _ , honestly.

"Home." Jongin says, looking impatient again. 

Yixing recovers some color to his face and holds his hand out to greet Kyugnsoo properly. Kyungsoo goes to shake his hand, but Yixing brings his other hand up and covers it, holding on as he stares at his face. Kyungsoo moves to pull his hand back, weirded out by these touchy-feely people, when Jongin blurts out, "Oh, he's a...fortune teller." Kyungsoo doesn't look convinced, especially since Yixing doesn't seem to either, but Jongin continues. "Let him read your palm. It's...it's good luck."

It's not hurting anyone, Kyungsoo supposes, so he allows it, scrunching his eyebrows as he studies their faces. Yixing looks like he's concentrating at least, so perhaps he has to divine some spirits or something. Jongin on the other hand looks expectant. "How do you feel?" he asks, looking hopeful.

"Hungry," Kyungsoo replies.

His vision gets obstructed a moment later as Jongin brushes a lock of his hair out of his face, focusing on the old scar. "Um," Kyungsoo says, jerking his head to the side, letting the hand drop down. He pulls his hand away from Yixing too, who glances over at Jongin and shakes his head.

"...What was that about?" Kyungsoo asks.

"Do you...you don't feel any different?" Jongin repeats, ignoring him. He keeps searching Kyungsoo's face, looking like he was on the cusp of tears. This guy is unstable. Perhaps the other one was too.

"I uh...I gotta go back home." Kyungsoo says. If he doesn't want to answer Kyungsoo's questions, then two can play that game. He starts walking back, but twists around to see them talking quietly, Yixing's hand squeezing Jongin's arm. "Where'd you come from? I've been in the water all day, and I didn't see you come up."

Jongin stares at the ground, frowning, so Yixing awkwardly tries to shield his friend, and smiles. "We just got here actually," he says in a much friendlier tone. "I've never been here before. It's very nice! Very pretty!"

What a weird statement. "Where's your boat?" Kyungsoo asks, watching for their reaction. Something was amiss.

"Let's go, hyung." Jongin grumbles, still refusing to look up. He grabs Yixing's arm and brushes past Kyungsoo, who turns around to see Jongin wiping at his face with his sleeve.

"Hey, wait!" Kyungsoo yells as he takes off after them. "Where are you even going?" He gets ignored and grunts in frustration, latching onto Jongin's arm and yanking it back. "Hey!"

Red rimmed eyes meet his, and Kyungsoo almost loses his grip at the sight of the stormy face before him. "I gotta take him back," Jongin whispers shakily, gesturing over at Yixing, who just looks apologetic.

"Back where? Where did you go yesterday? I thought you drowned or something again." Kyungsoo rolls the fabric of Jongin's sleeve tighter into his fist, afraid they'll just vanish otherwise. "You owe me at least that. I saved your life. Are you a ghost or something?"

A soft sob escapes Jongin's lips as he quickly covers his face, swiping at it angrily, and Kyungsoo drops his hand in surprise. Yixing doesn't seem fazed, pulling Jongin to his chest and patting his back reassuringly. He looks over at Kyungsoo, making a thin line with his lips as he considers his words. "I'm sorry. This isn't a good time. Maybe he will talk to you later, okay? We need to leave. It was nice seeing you though. You look good."

Kyungsoo is frozen in place as he watches Yixing walk Jongin around to the market stands, opposite of where the transport rafts were. He recovers a minute later and slowly follows their path, looking around in confusion as he finds himself alone once again.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jongin doesn't show up again until almost a week later. He looks tired, but still dressed too well to fit in with the simple, faded village clothes here. Kyungsoo watches warily as he brings another friend, outfitted similarly, this one so tall that he makes Jongin look tiny by comparison. 

"Hey Kyungsoo," the giant says brightly, plopping down and folding his legs underneath him.

"...Hi?" he responds, looking up.

"I'm Chanyeol," the tall one continues, flashing his teeth and raising his eyebrows into a hopeful look. Jongin opts to stand, holding a white styrofoam box out to Kyungsoo expectantly. He takes it, and watches as Jongin stalk off to the other side of the pier, facing away from them. It was warm. Kyungsoo looks to Chanyeol in confusion, and the other gives him another grin, waggling his hands encouragingly at it. "Eat!"

The box had a large steak inside, with vegetables, and all still piping hot. It was mouth-watering, and Kyungsoo stares at the meal, unsure of what was going on.

"Happy birthday to you..." Chanyeol sings out just as Kyungsoo finally picks the steak up with careful fingers and rips a bite out. It's enough to stop him from chewing.

"How d'you know s'my bir'day?" Kyungsoo manages to ask around the mouthful. 

Chanyeol seems to freeze at this, the muscles on his face locked in a smile still even as his eyes turn to confusion. "Uhhh..." he draws out, looking at Jongin's hunched shoulders for help. The man just shifts his weight to the other foot, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, still ignoring them. Chanyeol turns back to Kyungsoo. "Umm..." he continues uselessly.

"And where did this come from?" Kyungsoo asks after he swallows the first bite down. It was delicious and hot and perfect, but there wasn't a single restaurant on the village and the closest town on the shore was nearly half an hour away including sailing time. Not to mention, you'd have to go much further inland to find beef.

"Don't you like it?" Jongin asks quietly, back still toward them, and Chanyeol latches onto that with an enthusiastic, "It's your favorite!" following with a wince and awkwardly staring at his fingers when Kyungsoo looks back at him with more questions in his eyes.

"...So I know you..." Kyungsoo says matter-of-factly. "Or knew. Right?"

Chanyeol's eyes dart back to Jongin for help, and Kyungsoo follows his gaze when he hears sniffles coming from the other again. "We..." the giant starts hesitantly. "...We used to be roommates."

"Roommates where?" Kyungsoo asks. He's never gone to school. He's been here his whole life. 

"And good friends," Chanyeol continues, pursing his lips afterward, as if debating whether he was doing the right thing or not. "Do you not remember me?"

Kyungsoo stares at him for a long moment, taking in his facial features, and waiting for any recognition to click. Silence. He shakes his head slowly, both hands gripping the box. "Why did you leave then?" he asks.

"Eat it before it gets cold," Jongin says, finally walking over to them again. He had the same red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face as yesterday and squeezes Chanyeol's shoulder for the other to look up at him. "We should go."

"Don't," Kyungsoo says quickly, setting the box down and standing up to hold his ground. "You can't just show up and be all mysterious and then disappear two minutes later! Where do you even go? How'd you get this here? How do I know you?"

Jongin studies his face silently, his eyes dull and sad. "I'll try to stay longer next time. We have to go. ...Happy birthday, Kyungsoo," he says, his voice emotionless as he looks back to Chanyeol and cants his head toward the market like yesterday.

Kyungsoo actually debates following them, dying of curiosity now, but knowing from experience that just chasing blindly won't result in anything. He'll have to plan for it next time, or at least hope that Jongin will actually try to talk instead of being this grumpy sour grape. His stomach rumbles greedily and he sulks back to the box. At least the guy had good taste in food. He can't even recall the last time his mom managed to get beef.

He asks his parents later as he skips out on yet another fish stew if they had allowed anyone to stay at their home during the time he can't remember. His parents look at each other nervously, but shake their heads in confusion. "Your room can barely fit your brother and you, how could anyone else fit in there?" his father reasons.

"I met somebody today who says they knew me and we used to be roommates," Kyungsoo says slowly, watching for their reactions. His mom once again gets that wide-eyed look of fear where his father pulls a somber poker face. "So I don't get how he could say we were roommates if he never stayed with us?"

His mom goes silent as she flips the fried sweet cakes on the pan, while his father stalls by taking a long pull of his drink. Finally, he speaks, "Kyungsoo...you went away...for a little bit. Last year. It wasn't for long though, and you got hurt, so you had to come home."

"Why? What happened? Why didn't you tell me? You guys recognized Jongin the other day." Kyungsoo's voice grew more agitated as he went on. It wasn't like they lied or anything, but they definitely knew he didn't remember this.

"Sweetheart, let's just have your birthday dessert. We can talk about this later?" his mom asks, pleads more like it. "You got hurt, and I was terrified, and it's really upsetting to talk about. Please, let's do this another day."

—

Jongin shows up two days later, holding a notepad and not looking like a stormcloud for once. He even manages a small smile, which Kyungsoo reluctantly returns. "Hi..."

"Hey," Kyungsoo says, looking down at the notepad curiously. "Gonna tell me how I know you?"

"Maybe," Jongin answers, a hint of a tease in his voice. "Wanna play a game?"

"Why?" Kyungsoo asks, honestly surprised.

"Because you would today, if you remembered," Jongin says cryptically. "Play a game with me."

"Do I get a prize?"

"Sure. I'll buy you dinner again if you win."

"I'd rather you give me some answers if I win," Kyungsoo counters, watching Jongin crack open the notebook to about midway, the papers before already showing previous doodles, but flying by too fast for him to process.

"Let's start with dinner first. Name a category," Jongin says, huddling closer and clicking the open and scribbling into the corner to get the ink running.

"Uh..." Kyungsoo contributes.

"Like animals, places, food," he clarifies.

"Uh...animals?" Kyungsoo decides. Jongin nods and puts the tip of the pen to his lips for a moment, scrunching his eyebrows in thought. He smiles, and his whole face lights up like sunshine, and it's so different from what Kyungsoo's used to seeing on him, he almost misses Jongin declaring "okay, an easy one first."

Kyungsoo watches in total confusion as Jongin draws out what looks like a weird, triangular cave. "Cave," he says, getting ignored as the other pushes on, making two dark holes at the bottom. "Bears." Jongin lets out a soft chuckle and keeps going, making two smaller triangles within the large one. Kyungsoo squints, and it almost looks like...yeah. "These are noses," he mutters. "This isn't an animal, or you're really bad at drawing. Nose animal. Skunk. Anteater. Nose-..nose monster?"

Jongin's beaming as he finishes off with three smaller noses above the two and clicks the pen closed, setting it down on the paper. "I'm gonna count to ten, and if you haven't guessed, you lose this round and will have to do punishment," he says.

"This isn't an animal!" Kyungsoo whines out, staring at the flock of noses.

"Eight...nine...ten!" Jongin counts off, smiling still but his eyes don't reflect it as much as they did earlier. "Give up?"

"This is cheating. That is not an animal," Kyungsoo argues.

"It's an elephant!" Jongin declares, picking the pen back up and flipping the page.

"That is not an elephant. You have clearly never seen an elephant," Kyungsoo pouts.

Jongin bites the tip of the pen again, thinking about the next challenge. "Have you?" he mutters absently before nodding and clicking the pen on again.

"Snake," guesses Kyungsoo as he draws out a series of lines and comes back to put little tick marks along one side of them. "...Boxes." Jongin finishes drawing out four long, rectangular boxes and clicks the pen closed, setting it down again, arching an eyebrow at Kyungsoo.

"...Elephant? Caterpillar."

"One...two...three..." Jongin starts, smiling at the panic rising in Kyungsoo.

"This is a cheating game!" he cries, staring at the lines and willing them to make sense. "Hairy legs. Walking sticks!"

"Ten..." Jongin finishes, and his eyes are sad again. He doesn't manage a smile this time as he bites his lip and flips the page, starring at the new one. "It was a lion."

" _How_  is that a lion?" Kyungsoo asks, lifting the page to look at the lines again. It still doesn't make sense.

Jongin clicks his tongue, tapping the pen against the paper, stippling it with little black dots. He lets out a soft sigh and shakes his head minutely. "This one is harder, but it's not like..." he says, voice emotionless. 

"Cow," Kyungsoo says, looking down when Jongin drops the pen, at what was definitely a cow. He sees out the corner of his eye, Jongin turning his head away and staring off at the horizon, biting his lip again. The cow was licking a bowl and saying something.

"I don't know how to read," Kyungsoo says, staring at the text bubble coming from the cow. He glances over to see Jongin's eyes watering, refusing to look back at him.

Jongin moves to close the notebook. "I don't know why I-"

"Goat," Kyungsoo says suddenly. "It's a goat."

Now Jongin stares at him, lips parted in awe and he swipes at his eyes quickly. "How do you know that?" he asks.

"I don't know, but it's a goat." Kyungsoo replies, nodding to confirm his answer.

"Yeah. It is," Jongin says, looking back down at the drawing and managing a small, tearful smile.

Kyungsoo clears his throat after they've sat in silence for a couple of minutes, looking expectantly at Jongin, who cocks an eyebrow back at him.

"I get a prize," Kyungsoo says blandly.

"You get two punishments too," Jongin counters, smirking back at the cow.

"I saved your life. That should at least take one off," Kyungsoo negotiates.

Jongin looks at him for a moment before nodding again. "I guess that takes care of both then," he says, giving him a slow smile. "But you only got one question. That's not good enough for dinner. I will get you just dessert then. Okay?"

And now it's Kyungsoo's turn to raise his eyebrows. "There aren't any desserts for sale on the island right now, or did you bring some?"

Jongin sets the notepad down next to him and pushes himself upright. "Wait here," he says, spinning on his heels and breaking into a small jog. "I'll be right back." Kyungsoo watches him disappear behind a wall, and the atmosphere grows heavy again. He looks up, but there wasn't anything beyond a couple of wispy little clouds in the sky.

His curiosity gets the best of him, and Kyungsoo picks the notebook back up, pulling back to the first pages. More doodles. More words. These don't look like Jongin wrote them though, neater and tighter with a heavier hand. They don't mean anything to him though, just random doodles of shapes and words he doesn't know how to read.

Kyungsoo looks up again a few minutes later when the air gets staticky again. Nothing different beyond the sun dipping lower into the horizon. He's about to go check where Jongin disappeared to when he hears footsteps headed back, turning to see Jongin holding out two ice cream cones, offering one to him.

"Where did you get ice cream?" Kyungsoo asks, eyes wide as he takes one, watching Jongin try to catch his breath and the sweat bead on his brow. He looked like he just ran a mile, but there's nowhere in town that would sell this.

Jongin acts like he's going to grab the cone back. "If you don't want your prize, then..." and Kyungsoo smacks at his hand quickly before the hand goes to cover his own mouth in shock.

"I'm so sorry! I was just-"

Jongin actually laughs. _Laughs_. "It's okay. Eat."

Kyungsoo practically moans at the flavor. It's so good even though it's ice cold and the temperature isn't ideal for eating such cold treats. "Did you hide this around the corner this whole time or something?" he asks, licking at a melted line before it could drip onto his fingers. "That's cheating if you weren't planning on feeding me food in the first place, you know."

He's taking a long drag along the side of the scoop when he realizes Jongin hasn't answered, and he tilts his head to see Jongin staring dumbly at his ice cream cone, eyes glazed over. Kyungsoo pulls back off of it in confusion, slowly tucking his tongue back into his mouth and swallowing. He holds the cone out to Jongin. "Did you want some of mine?"

Jongin's eyes had followed to Kyungsoo's mouth, but he blinks in the silence and clears his throat, looking back up to his eyes. "Uh..." He tries clearing his throat again, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Thanks." He gives the scoop a kittenish lick, curling his tongue into a shallow bowl to keep the melting cream from spilling and finally closing his mouth. Kyungsoo realizes way too late that he had been staring until the corners of Jongin's lips turn up into a wry smile. He feels a strange twitch in his pants and tries to discreetly cover his crotch with his free arm.

"You said you were going to give me some answers." Kyungsoo says in the silence.

"What were your questions?"

"Well, I don't know what to ask, but you have answers and you know what they are."

Jongin ponders this as he laps at his cone, Kyungsoo having to drop his gaze and stare off at the last sliver of sun. "I think that'll have to wait until next time. I don't want to talk about it today."

"You said-"

"Please, hyung. Not today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the drawing part is based off of Jongin's adorable af V live broadcast, which you can watch here:  
> http://www.vlive.tv/video/15129/  
> As for why the drawings are what they are, check out these translations here:  
> https://twitter.com/kimjoninis/status/785895081492361216
> 
> Also, in case you're not like...as deep down the rabbit hole as I am, Jongin's birthday is 2 days after Soo's birthday, so he came back on his birthday to draw.


	4. Chapter 4

Two and a half weeks. According to his mother, Kyungsoo left for two and a half weeks for some job offer inland. She doesn't know the details. She doesn't want to know the details. Jongin was the one who recruited him, and they were together for a total of less than a month, including when they reappeared in the village, bloodied and battered; Kyungsoo looking like he was on the brink of death and had aged nearly a decade in just a few short days. She asks him to stay away from Jongin. She calls him the devil and shoos Kyungsoo out of their house to go to work, and that was the end of it.

Kyungsoo doesn't understand. He knows Jongin has the answers, or barring that, Jongin's friends, who don't seem to visit unless Jongin brings them. But the man hasn't been around for over a week now, which is confusing and frustrating enough on its own, but when his mom unknowingly reveals more pieces of the puzzle, Kyungsoo just _has_  to know more.

One night, right before sunset, a heavy storm rolled in so quickly and so strong that it took off parts of Mr. Lee's roof. There was so much thunder and lightning that people were starting to get concerned, watching the water level rise and feeling their buildings shake. Kyungsoo was one of the boys sent out to help gather up Mr. Lee's things to keep them from getting damaged, and he could've sworn at one point, he saw two men arguing on the shore, along that beach. He pointed them out to some of the other boys, but in the next flash of lightning, they were gone. The storm ebbed off not long after, and Kyungsoo ended up tossing and turning restlessly all night.

The air is still charged from last night's wild storm when Jongin appears the next morning sporting a black eye and scabbed up knuckles, practically appearing out of thin air the moment Kyungsoo's raft is loaded up as he was about to push off toward the fishermen. He smiles as if he doesn't look like he just walked out of a fight scene and asks if there's space on the raft for him to join. Kyungsoo gives him a hard stare for a long minute before nodding and shuffling some stuff around to give Jongin more room.

They push off toward the fishing dock, and Kyungsoo watches as Jongin lets out the Widest Yawn Known To Man and his eyes droop sleepily as they face the rising sun.

"Didn't sleep well?" Kyungsoo finally asks.

"Huh?" Jongin answers, looking up. "Oh...no, I don't sleep much anymore."

"My mom says I was with you for like three weeks," Kyungsoo starts, trying to keep his eye on Jongin while keeping them afloat. "Where did you take me?"

Jongin doesn't answer this time, biting his lip and looking away. "Hey," Kyungsoo prompts, growing annoyed. "She won't tell me, but you said you would."

"I will..." Jongin says sadly, biting his lower lip as he tries to distract his eyes with anything other than Kyungsoo. At least he's stuck here on the raft with nowhere to run off to this time. Kyungsoo tries to be sympathetic.

"Are you staying with me all day then? I'm not going back until this first pot is emptied," Kyungsoo explains. Jongin nods reluctantly, looking like he's questioning his choice of getting on the boat. Too late, buddy.

"Tell me about yourself then," Kyungsoo offers. "Just easy stuff, I guess?"

Jongin seems relieved at the change of conversation and gives him a small, grateful smile. "Sure," he says, eyes twinkling. "What do you wanna know about me?"

"I don't know. Like tell me about yourself. How old are you, what do you like to eat and stuff?" Maybe this way, Jongin will loosen up enough for him to get some answers.

"Well," Jongin says, pursing his lips in thought. "My name is Kim Jongin. You knew that... I'm twenty-nine years old. I like chicken...yours was always the best..." He glances briefly back over at Kyungsoo with a shy grin before remembering that he's suppose to be sad puppy and looks away again. "I, ah..." He scrunches his face up, trying to come up with more factoids and failing, looking at Kyungsoo helplessly.

"Favorite color?" Kyungsoo offers.

"Indigo," Jongin replies, looking mischievious. "Why all these first date questions though, hyung?"

"I'm twenty-three," Kyungsoo replies. He remembers Jongin calling him that last time too. "You're _my_  hyung." He narrows his eyes as Jongin lets out a surprised guffaw before smothering it with a hand clamped over his mouth.

Jongin looks equal parts sad and amused, tilting his head to the side to stare into the water. "Right. Sorry."

"You'd think you'd know that," Kyungsoo says, watching him warily. "Seeing how you act like you know me so well."

Jongin just nods absently, and Kyungsoo flails as the conversation dies after that. He gives Jongin a bowl of soup later, and that does a ridiculously good job of cheering the latter up. Kyungsoo catches him grinning at him over the bowl when he thinks the latter isn't looking.

"Tell me about your family?" Kyungsoo asks carefully. He's grateful for the gaps between customers today.

Jongin takes a long final gulp of his soup and attempts to set it on his knee before Kyungsoo snatches it away. "My family..." he begins slowly, looking over his knuckles. "I have an older brother. Jongdae. He stays with our parents..."

That was unhelpful, Kyungsoo thinks to himself. "So...you're the baby of your family? Like me?"

Jongin gives him a wry smile. "Yeah, we are." He tries to be sneaky, but Kyungsoo catches him glancing up at the zigzaggy scar above Kyungsoo's right ear. Jongin clears his throat as his eyes lower to the other, and blushes, looking away quickly. "Umm...how much longer are we out here?"

"Am I such bad company?" Kyungsoo asks.

"No!" Jongin exclaims, eyes wide. "I just...I don't like...uh-"

"...Being around me?" Kyungsoo supplies.

"No, that's not it," Jongin says, frustrated. "I need to head back soon."

"You're always needing to head back soon. Where do you head back to?"

Jongin lets out a sigh, running his hand down his face again. "Nowhere. Nowhere _to_  go." He shakes his head sadly and looks back up into Kyungsoo's eyes. "I don't know what I should tell you. It might not change anything, or it might make everything worse. I don't want to make that choice. Please, hyung." He takes in Kyungsoo's blank gaze and corrects himself a moment later. "I mean, Kyungsoo."


	5. Chapter 5

A couple of days pass before Jongin returns. He is waiting when Kyungsoo pulls his raft to the little pier at the end of the day. "Ready to drop more vague clues of my mysterious past?" Kyungsoo snips, giving him an annoyed glare.

"No," Jongin says, holding his hand out to help Kyungsoo out of the raft, not that he would need it. He's as stable in the boat as he is on solid ground. Jongin holds onto his hand afterward and Kyungsoo is tempted to pull away, but he allows it for now. Maybe the touch will make him more free with speaking.

"What does that mean? No what?"

"I had to rest first," Jongin says absently, casting nervous glances down at their joined hands. "To make sure...just in case..."

"Just in case what?" Kyungsoo asks.

"In case we had to get back here quickly."

"I can row probably way better than your skinny arms ever could."

Jongin finally looks up at him, a small smile appearing. "We're not going by boat."

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows with doubt, "And how are we going then?"

Jongin hesitates. "Do you trust me?"

"No."

"No?"

"You keep secrets from me, are intentionally Mr. Mysterious, and burst into tears without reason. You sound unstable. Why should I trust you?" Kyungsoo spits out.

The man nods along as Kyungsoo airs out his grievances. "This is true..." he says quietly. "But I'd be willing to try and show you. But you'd have to trust me."

"That sounds like something a villain would say," Kyungsoo murmurs.

"So no then?"

He had to know. "No. Show me."

Jongin holds out his other hand, and Kyungsoo gives him a long stare before he accepts it, dropping his eyes down to their strangely intimate embrace. The man rubs his thumbs over Kyungsoo's knuckles, and he feels a sizzle in the air, like currents stirring to life. Kyungsoo looks up to meet the man's eyes and then the world flashes through darkness, air sucking out of existence and then reappearing the next moment. The sky is all wrong. The temperature, the air pressure, the—

Kyungsoo bends over and vomits right onto Jongin's expensive looking shoes.

Jongin makes a surprised sound, but holds tight to Kyungsoo's hands as he flails, trying to get away to recover from the vertigo. He feels the ground shift loosely underneath his feet, and notices, finally, that they were standing on coarse sand. Vibrating sand.

"Kyungsoo, _please_ calm down," Jongin begs, and suddenly the sand goes motionless. Just regular sand again. Kyungsoo questions his eyesight. He yanks at his hands, and the man finally lets them loose, but follows closely behind as Kyungsoo swipes at his mouth and steps away shakily. They were on a beach. There was a little village nearby. The water was—

There was a little floating village on the horizon, covered in shadows, opposite of the setting sun. He makes an unbecoming squeak as he recognizes his raft tied to the pier. That was his village. This was the shore he watches everyday after work.

He hears splashing and turns to see Jongin standing in the water up to his shins, kicking around to wash the mess off of his shoes.

"What just happened?" Kyungsoo asks shakily, trying to spit out the acid taste in his mouth.

Jongin throws his hands up, wading quickly out of the water. "Please, you _have_  to stay calm," he says, soft but urgent, like he's trying to sooth a wild animal. Kyungsoo realizes that he had screamed out his question.

"Is this real?" Kyungsoo asks. Calmly this time. Or fearfully, at least.

"You know," Jongin says, with a brief, dry chuckle. "That's exactly what you said last time."

"Wh-what...just happened," Kyungsoo tries again.

Jongin stares at him for a long moment, trying to decide if he's okay enough to handle more. "I teleported us here," he says finally after a minute of silent evaluation. "I can....I can bring us back."

"This is how you've been getting to the village..." Kyungsoo realizes in awe. "Is this why you looked so tired when you brought other people?"

"Yeah..." Jongin says. "It used to not be a big deal, but after..." his voice trails off, then realizing Kyungsoo was waiting expectantly for answers, he frowns and pushes forward. "We both got hurt. Really badly. We all did. It really messed me up. It's not easy anymore."

Kyungsoo nods, mainly just to distract his body and give it something to do as he stares at the sand, feeling some shift in between his toes into the sandals he wore. "Do...you live in the village over there then?"

Jongin lets out a weak laugh, shaking his head slowly. "No, I...I'm in America right now. I got a place in Colorado." He exhales, making a grim line with his mouth. "I'm trying to work on something... Sometimes, I finish before midnight, that's when I come see you..."

"...America?"

"Yeah. You— You'd like Colorado. Good food."

Kyungsoo tries to chew this over. He feels lightheaded. "What do you do?"

Jongin shakes his head. "You...wouldn't approve." He smiles at that. "But I think it'll work. It'll fix everything."

"What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you later. Baby steps."

  
_This_  is baby steps? Kyungsoo reaches down slowly, pressing his fingers into the sand, watching it gather over his fingertips from the pressure. This was real. They teleported. They _teleported_. He felt a rush to his head. He felt like he could run for miles.

"How do you feel?" Jongin asks, as if reading his mind.

"Amazing?" Kyungsoo asks, standing back up. Jongin's gaze snagged around his waist, and Kyungsoo looks down, confused, until he spots the trail of sand leading up to his fingers. Floating. Twirling in small spirals. He screams and jerks his hand up high, watching the sand suddenly drop back, lifeless. "What did you do!" he yells.

Jongin doesn't answer. He just steps closer, hands outreached warily as he watches Kyungsoo, like he's a ticking time bomb.

"What was that!"

"That was you," Jongin finally says. "We need to go back. We'll try again tomorrow, okay? I promise."

Kyungsoo could feel tears welling up as his body's adrenaline spiked from the shock, but at the same time, it felt _so good_  here. Like he had gotten a full night's rest on the best, most comfortable bed and filled up on the heartiest meal, even as he _knew_  he was starving from the long day's work and had slept wrong. He didn't want to go.

"Kyungsoo?"

"Baby steps..."

Jongin nods, offering his hand again. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is moving so slowly, I'm sorry. It picked up a little bit though, no?


	6. Chapter 6

 

They're back on the beach. Kyungsoo had abandoned his sandals almost immediately, enjoying the feeling of sand flowing between his toes. He felt charged. However, he couldn't make the sand lift back up no matter what he tried. Jongin insisted that last time was just his body acclimating, and it was residual energy burning up. Everything else will probably have to be done consciously. He had thrown in a "hopefully" at the end, which Kyungsoo doesn't understand, but for now, he's pretty content just letting his body soak up whatever energy is in this place.

"Do you really think you're twenty-three years old, hyung?" Jongin asks half an hour into their visit. "Do you think you look twenty-three?"

Kyungsoo lifts his head up from his sand angel to look at the other. "Well, don't be cryptic," he says, although there's no heat in his tone. "Obviously, you don't think so."

"No, but...I want to know your thoughts."

Kyungsoo shrugs, laying his head back down. "My mom said when you brought me back, you and I both looked half dead. She said we looked like we had seen a ghost and aged a lifetime."

"Heh," Jongin offers, his lip curving up in one corner. "Well, the first and last part of that is pretty close. Middle, I don't think so anyway."

"So are you actually going to tell me things today?"

He hears the man shuffling and can feel him plop down next to Kyungsoo a moment later, laying back down in the sand. His fancy black clothes are going to take every grain of that action back with him to Colorado. "Does the name Joonmyun mean anything to you?"

"I'd really rather you tell me things than play games and ask me questions you know I don't know the answers to," Kyungsoo says, leaning over so he can look at Jongin's face. The other man was already facing his way, looking tired and sad. As usual, really.

"He was our leader..." Jongin says softly, rubbing his lips together in thought. "He would've known what to do. But he's gone, and I don't know what to do. I just don't want to make things worse."

"How will telling me about my past make things worse? It's just listing facts."

"Your scar," Jongin says, reaching forward hesitantly, small jerking motions Kyungsoo supposes is to give him warning to pull away if he wishes. His fingers reach the thin, branching pattern on the edge of his hairline, tracing down it softly. "...it wasn't an accident."

"It was," Kyungsoo argues. "It was on the pier. There's even old blood stains stuck in the wood from where I cracked my head."

"This is called a Lichtenberg figure," Jongin struggles to get out, the foreign pronunciation catching on his tongue. "It's not an accidental pattern... It comes from lightning."

"...You're saying I got struck by lightning."

"Effectively. Yes." Jongin retracts his hand, and Kyungsoo finds himself actually missing the touch. It was comforting in the mess of all this new information.

"...Okay, so...how is that not an accident then?"

Jongin goes quiet again, rolling so his cheek is smooshed against the sand, and Kyungsoo can see the grains sticking to his skin from minute movements. He looks worried. "My brother did that to you," he finally says, barely louder than a whisper as he averts his eyes. "He was...trying to kill you. I stopped him and brought you back to your home. It...kept you safe."

"No, back up," Kyungsoo rushes out, scrunching his eyebrows. "Your _brother_? How? Why? What in the heck are you talking about? Have an actual starting point!"

Jongin rubs at his eyes for a while. Kyungsoo couldn't tell if the man was just exhausted or if he was crying again. His forearms are covering his face when he speaks again, his voice somewhat muffled. "I don't _know_  where to start, hyung." He sounds frustrated, worn down, not annoyed. Not directed at Kyungsoo anyway. "I shouldn't be the one making these decisions. Everyone else just wants to move on, and I'm just. _Stuck_. Here."

Kyungsoo finds himself pulling Jongin's hands down so he can see his face again. Jongin gives him an inquisitive look, and next thing he knows, the man's head is laying on his shoulder, Kyungsoo looking down at the top of his fluffy hair as Jongin slings an arm across his chest. He was not prepared for this...

" _Please_ ," the mop of dark brown hair whispers. Begs. And then Kyungsoo loses control of his own body as his fingers go up to tangle in Jongin's locks, stroking through them, comforting. He hears Jongin let out a muffled sob. Minutes pass by like this, and soon the other man's grip on his waist loosens as his breathing evens out.

"Tell me why you call me hyung first. Can we start there?" Kyungsoo asks gently, still playing with the silky hair.

"Because you're my hyung," Jongin answers, and there's almost a pout in his voice.

"I'm twen—"

"You're thirty," Jongin snaps. "Today would make you twenty-three, but do you even feel twenty-three? You said years ago your back had already started aching every morning. Your eyes had already gotten even worse. Even Yixing couldn't fix those things, because there wasn't anything to fix. It was just entropy. Just nature."

"...Years ago?"

Jongin shakes his head, trying to slyly curl himself even closer to Kyungsoo. "I'll fix it," he says confidently. "It'll be okay."

Kyungsoo's about to prod again, but the man lifts his head up suddenly, looking into his eyes from such a short distance away, Kyungsoo's almost cross just trying to look back. He gets that wounded look in his face again and slumps back down. "It really hurts that you don't remember me at all," Jongin says accusingly, petulantly. Like it's Kyungsoo's fault. He's dumbstruck by the outburst and goes silent.

Jongin eventually reaches up blindly for Kyungsoo's hand, bringing it back to his hair. Kyungsoo gets over his initial confusion after a moment, and is almost tempted to make his own list of demands if he's going to be used for pets like this, but he resumes stroking his fingers over the other man's scalp. Keeping him soothed was making him open up a lot more than trying to pin him down with questions. True, they caused more questions to surface than actually answered any of his current ones, but Kyungsoo argued that he had to start somewhere.

"What are we?" Kyungsoo drawls out slowly. He's not one for all this touchy-feely stuff, although he recalls seeing Yixing comforting Jongin on the dock a few weeks ago. The image fits wrongly in his memory now. He didn't remember the tinge of jealousy before.

"Nothing," comes the curt reply, Jongin in full-out sulking mode now.

"At least talk to me," Kyungsoo offers.

Jongin releases a long, aggrieved sigh. "I—" He takes several deep breaths, mentally wrestling with himself before he must've decided, eh fuck it. "I saw Luhan. He's not doing well. Possibly worse than me, since...everything." Kyungsoo _knows_  Jongin knows he has no clue who Luhan is, but he guesses Jongin just really needs to vent right now. He tries to store every name and bit away to quiz him about later. "It would've been Minseok's birthday next month, and...I don't know what he's going to do. I'm afraid he won't even make it until then." More silence. "I know I shouldn't focus on it, that it won't matter in the end. It's just not working right now, and how am I suppose to just _know_  and watch it happen, you know? Like it's still real. He's still real. And what if it doesn't work? What if I can't?"

Kyungsoo feels awkward in face of all the questions, wondering if they're rhetorical or if Jongin's honestly expecting his input on people whose names and lives mean nothing to him.

Another sigh. "I wouldn't take chances with you. So I guess there goes my argument. I'll go try to talk to him tomorrow. I can't...we can't lose anyone else."

"When will you come back here again?" Kyungsoo asks, knowing he should feel sympathetic at the characters being told to him, but honestly, what's more pressing is when Jongin will return to bring him back here and tell him more.

Jongin has this strange ability to curl himself up to the point that he looks so small and frail. Like he needs to be protected, instead of the one with all the answers. "When do you want me to come back?" he asks meekly.

"I don't want you to leave, to be honest," Kyungsoo replies easily.

Jongin lets out a weak laugh. "I'm already sleepy, hyung. Don't tempt me."

The silence wins out and they lay there for another half hour before Jongin reluctantly breaks free of their impromptu snuggling session and stands up, not even bothering to dust off the sand on his clothes.

"Let's go back."

"Do we have to?" Kyungsoo asks, not wanting to feel the energy drain out of him again.

"I can take you straight to your room if you want," Jongin offers.

Kyungsoo shakes his head. "I gotta go eat dinner. I just...don't want to leave here." Or you. He watches as Jongin covers up a big yawn and realizes...if he's living by hours on the other side of the world, it must be _late_  over there by now. "Are you going to be okay to shift back to Colorado? You could stay with us..."

This brings a small smile to Jongin's face, and he holds his hands out, palms up for Kyungsoo to take. It's almost habit now, and they interlock easily. A moment and some vertigo later, they're outside of his family's house, Jongin looking thoroughly drained.

"...Seriously, actually. You should stay," Kyungsoo says, eyeing him warily.

The man shakes his head slowly. "I shouldn't. Plus, it's not so bad making the trip back. It's just myself." He looks up into Kyungsoo's eyes again, forcing a fake smile across his lips. "Goodnight, hyung."

He's gone before Kyungsoo can even answer.


	7. Chapter 7

Kyungsoo sleeps and dreams of cold, narrow hallways and stark white spaces. He dreams of dull pain in his arms, of fire, and he dreams of Jongin, the light in the darkness.

It's hard to hold onto dreams when he wakes, the contextless memories rapidly fleeing, like trying to carry sand around in his palms. He tries to draw them out, but even then, some of the dreams he leaves off the pages. He doesn't need to take pen to paper for those. Or maybe he's embarrassed to.

In some dreams, he sees Jongin laying back, looking up at him in worship, eyes hooded, swollen lips parted and gasping, body jerking up the bed from Kyungsoo's efforts. His arms wrapped around Kyungsoo's shoulders, clinging for dear life, _begging_. His name sounds like reverent prayer on Jongin's lips, soft chants getting increasingly needy. Here, he looks magnificent: no sunken eyes, more meat to pad the bones, hair splayed out underneath him and smiling blissfully. He looks carefree, laughing high and light as he finally throws his head back, eyes fluttering shut.

Kyungsoo doesn't know what to make of these dreams. Of any of them. Can they actually be real? Would all of them be real or just... He's disturbed, but at the same time, he remembers how he feels during these dreams, and questions if these were hidden desires or actual memories. Or memories of hidden desires.

Jongin hasn't been back in a week. Kyungsoo has tried to go back to the beach, but even skipping out of work early, it takes over half an hour to get there. It feels worth it when he gets there, but the nights are growing colder, and the trips back feels like he's rowing against the tide with lead arms. The energy he felt doesn't fade away as quickly as it did on the first night they went, but he can still feel it trickling out of him, like tiny lost grains of sand.

Another week crawls by. No Jongin. Another two. Kyungsoo starts to worry, but there's literally nobody he can ask, nowhere he can go to for answers. He feels helpless.

That night, he has nightmares.

He sees Jongin, strapped into a stretcher, eyes bugged out in panic as faceless people clad in white, always all-white, force a mask over his nose and mouth as he strains against his bindings. Kyungsoo feels his throat burn as he screams himself hoarse. He can see others in his periphery, but they too are faceless, the dream not strong enough to power out details. He's bound as well, jackknifing against the bed, thrashing violently.

Another dream, a man lays at his feet, dark circles under his lifeless eyes, pupils burned out into white. The room is trembling. There are others gathered around them, screaming and wailing in despair. He's consoling another in his arms. It's not Jongin. Chaos builds and he sees cracks in the ceiling.

He wakes up drenched in sweat, shaking. He barely makes it outside to vomit into the water, the acid burning his throat, reminding him of the dreams where he screamed and begged for Jongin. The air is cool, so he lays back on the wood, looking up at the bright night sky as he tries to regain his breathing, his thoughts.

Eventually, the cold seeps in so he can't feel his toes, and he decides it's time to go back inside. Kyungsoo pulls himself to his feet, stepping side to side to bring blood flow back to them. He feels silly, and it's a good thing it's the middle of the night and no one is out to see—

He trips several times, running on numb feet, but he catches himself and finally makes it over to the body slumped on the pier, dropping to his knees and rolling it over. Jongin's lips are blue, his face white and his body ice cold.

"Jongin!" Kyungsoo cries, slapping him gently and shaking his shoulders. It takes minutes to get a sluggish response, but the other man eventually opens his eyes, weak and fluttering. He doesn't even seem to recognize him, and Kyungsoo could actually see the moment awareness actually comes. "Can you stand?"

It takes a long time, even with Kyungsoo trying to bear most of the weight. Jongin is unsettlingly light. "Let's go back to my place," he says, holding the other tightly by the waist, leading him back.

"I did it, hyung," Jongin manages to rasp out. "I jumped."

"We're gonna go in the water if you can't help stablize yourself," Kyungsoo grunts out.

His house has never felt so warm and comfortable. They make it as quietly as they can to his and Seungsoo's room, his older brother still snoring lightly in his bed. Jongin collapses into the other bed, and Kyungsoo rushes to the kitchen to find anything he can eat, bringing back some cold stew and water.

Jongin accepts the water gratefully, but refuses the food. He ends up pouting after each bite as Kyungsoo feeds him. It's the only thing giving him comfort at the sight of the other man's sunken eyes and haggard appearance overall.

"You know, if this is what you looked like the day you brought me back, no wonder my mom thought you were the devil," Kyungsoo chides.

The other man laughs, just air escaping his lungs in short bursts. "I think we looked worse back then."

"What the hell were you doing?" Kyungsoo asks. "You could've died!"

Jongin chews slowly, leaning against the wall in exhaustion, his eyes closed. It takes some time for him to answer. "I told you that you wouldn't approve."

"I don't know what that means!" Kyungsoo yells, provoking a loud snort from his brother and he quickly spins around, but Seungsoo sleeps on. "I don't know what that means, Jongin," he hisses out. "You don't tell me shit, and you go and sleep on the pier or whatever."

Jongin waves it off. "I just wanted to come tell you," he says, as if that explained everything. "I should have rested, but I wanted to see you first. It's fine."

"It's _not_  fine!" Kyungsoo continues, jamming another bite into Jongin's mouth, the back of the spoon clacking on his bottom teeth. "What if I didn't go outside tonight? You were _blue_!"

"Yeah, I don't feel really good..." Jongin says shakily. "I don't know if I can go back tonight."

"You're _not_ ," Kyungsoo spits out. "You're staying here, you idiot."

Jongin manages to push his lips into another pout, lifting his head away from the wall and swaying unevenly. "Are you staying with me?"

"I can sleep on the couch. You need to focus on not dying," Kyungsoo snaps, scowling as other shakes his head.

"Sleep with me." He grips Kyungsoo's arm weakly.

"Eat. Then negotiate," Kyungsoo answers. Jongin gives him a blazingly bright, smug smile, looking victorious. "I didn't say yes, you weird... _weird_  person. I said eat."

"I did it, hyung," he repeats. "I jumped."

"That's nice. Next time, try to leap."

"I'm gonna."

Kyungsoo stares blankly at Jongin's face at that statement, feeling uneasy. "...Don't. I was kidding. I don't know what you were doing, but you need to stop."

Jongin pushes the next spoon away, "No more..." He wipes at his mouth to get any residual food off and grins again. It doesn't quite fit on his too-sunken features. "I'll rest, I promise. But I did it. I can _do_  it."

Kyungsoo gives him a stern look and points at his face before getting up and putting the bowl into the sink. He walks back briskly, climbing into the bed and pulling the covers around his own shoulders. "The only thing you're doing is laying down and going to sleep. You're not going anywhere, okay? You scared the crap out of me. Go to sleep. You're going out on the raft with me tomorrow."

Jongin smiles happily and lays down. The bed is narrow, but if he backed up against the wall, they could both lay pretty comfortably. Instead, Jongin latches onto him like a leech, adjusting Kyungsoo's body to suit own comfort.

Kyungsoo huffs indignantly. "Okay?" he asks.

"Whatever you want, hyung."


	8. Chapter 8

Kyungsoo sleeps fitfully, and his dreams grow even worse. Instead of nightmares, they're hot and heavy, and he wakes up to Jongin beaming smugly, scant inches from his own face.

"Morning," the other man says scratchily. "How'd you sleep?"

"I—" Kyungsoo tries to roll back, but Jongin's got him on the edge of the mattress already, hogging up the lionshare of the bed. He realizes a breath later that he's hanging on literally with his hand gripping the other man's butt. "Um..." he hums out, letting his feet fall to the ground so he can sit up properly, unattached. "Sorry."

"For what?"

Kyungsoo gesticulates in vague loops and points. "Uhh, invading your personal space..." he says lamely.

"That's _hardly_  invading," Jongin quips, pulling himself up to sitting, although he tugs the blanket up to his ears so just his face peeks out.

That elicits an awkward gulp from Kyungsoo, who stands up and walks to the other side of the room, ruffling through his dresser. Seungsoo is gone, although he surely saw. The house is quiet. No one came to wake him up. He'd go investigate, but it'd be better to make use of this time. " _Anyway_ ," he mutters, clearing his throat. "Do you feel better?"

"Your body remembers me," Jongin croons out, all smiles this morning. "That's a good sign at least." He was leering.

Kyungsoo's eyes drop down and he panics, stuffing his hands in front of his crotch. "That's _natural_  every morning, you're probably like that too," he whines out, turning around to face away again.

"Probably," Jongin says, singsong lilt in his voice. "But you were grinding on me, and I had to push you away because you kept trying to kiss me." He was way too happy about this.

"I did _not!_ " exclaims Kyungsoo, whirling around again. "I would never!"

"I wouldn't have minded," Jongin continues with a smirk. "I just thought you'd get more out of it if you were fully cognizant." He actually winked. He _winked_. 

" _Do you feel better or not_?" Kyungsoo rushes out, eager to change the subject.

"I feel pretty great," Jongin chirps, still all smiles.

"Good," Kyungsoo says, trying to quickly get back on subject. "What did you mean last night? What did you do?"

"I jumped," Jongin says simply.

Kyungsoo stares at him. He gets another bright, toothy grin for his troubles. He's never seen the other man this happy, but he needs to know what the heck is going on, since Jongin was _definitely_  not okay last night. "Expand. Where did you jump to?"

"To yesterday," Jongin answers, standing up and letting the covers fall off his shoulders. The morning light catches his wild hair, framing his face like a glowing halo. Another smug smirk wakes Kyungsoo up, his jaw clicking closed with a pop, not even realizing he was staring. Jongin was sauntering toward him. 

"What does that mean?" Kyungsoo sounds like a broken record now, watching as Jongin comes to a halt right in front of him.

"I want a hug," Jongin demands.

"...Why?"

"Because your body remembers me, so I will accept a hug from it."

Kyungsoo's momentarily stunned, but he eventually shakes his head. "Uh, no. Answer me."

Jongin's upper lip curls into a disgruntled, pouty version of a sneer. It takes Kyungsoo a minute to realize he's participating in a staring contest.

"Jongin. What do you mean 'yesterday'?"

"Hmph."

"Focus."

"Oh, I am," the other man says, eyes twinkling.

Kyungsoo looks away first. He lets out a long sigh and scrubs at his eyes. "Are you serious right now?"

"As a heart attack."

Another sigh and he drags his hands in circles all over his face. "This is blackmail."

"I acknowledge your complaint." More staring.

Kyungsoo makes a whiny noise but holds his arms out, nearly getting tackled by Jongin a breath later. He expected more of the playful teasing to continue, but Jongin practically deflates against him, squeezing like he was afraid Kyungsoo would disappear. He wanted to push him off and joke about counting down to an acceptable time to let go, but he finds himself wrapping his arms around the other's waist, inhaling his scent. It's warm. Comforting. Not familiar though.

"Your ding dong's poking my leg." _Aaand_  he's back.

Kyungsoo shoves him away, turning the other direction and dropping his hands down again. "There, now answer me," he tells the wall.

"I'm hungry, hyung. Feed me."

Kyungsoo twists his head back in disbelief. "You—" He actually gapes. This—! "You answer me right now, or I'll—" He'll what though? He needs answers, he needs Jongin to take him to the beach, he needs Jongin. What could he threaten him with?

The asshole seems to know this too, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"You promised," Kyungsoo asks, figuring going with his mom's guilt trip technique might be the best of his options. "We had a deal."

"We did not. I don't want that stew again, by the way." Jongin purses his lips and cants his head to the side in thought, eyes tilted toward the ceiling. "Oooh, you know what sounds really good though?"

Kyungsoo's about to open his mouth and argue that a quick dip in the water might be what's best for Jongin, but the other man grabs his arm and the world swims by, nearly knocking Kyungsoo onto his knees. Jongin catches him as they stand in darkness, surrounded by artificial, brightly colored lights.

"Awww, damn," Jongin says under his breath. "I forgot...yeah, it'd be late. Man, I wanted churros." He finally looks at Kyungsoo, and holds onto his shoulders. "You okay?"

Kyungsoo's pretty sure he's gonna hurl. He wasn't remotely ready for that. Tears well up from his efforts, and he's swallowing repeatedly to try to keep his stomach acid down where it belongs. It takes several minutes, but eventually the nausea fades enough that he's reasonably confident he's not going to vomit. "...Please...warn me next time."

"Sorry," Jongin says, and he actually does look contrite. "Ummm...want some tapas? We're in Spain."

Kyungsoo finally manages to look around at their surroundings and quickly velcros himself to Jongin's side. "I'm in my underwear!" It's an old shirt and some shorts, but it's the _idea_  of being exposed. "Take us back! I don't even have any money!"

Jongin reaches behind him and hands Kyungsoo his wallet. "I got that taken care of. Can't teleport us back right now anyway, I really do need food. So...tapas?"

Kyungsoo rolls the wallet over in his palm, looking at the shiny black leather. He sighs again, narrowing his eyes back at the other man, who's grinning cheekily. "I think I liked you better when you were all sulky."

They head toward a street that Jongin points out, but four steps in, the man collapses. Kyungsoo barely manages to break his fall before his head can crack against the concrete.

"Jongin! Jongin, c'mon, oh crap...c'mon Jongin!" Kyungsoo says, deja vu sinking back in as he shakes the other man's shoulders. No luck. Looking around, he sees some clusters of people walking, but no one seems to notice them, or if they do, they are purposely ignoring them. Jongin's breathing steadily, just...out cold. He tries begging, shaking, gently smacking his face. Nothing. It's been at least ten minutes. He has never felt so helpless. Kyungsoo pockets the wallet and drags Jongin's body off into the grass, slumping down on the ground next to him, stroking his cheek and trying to will him into waking back up.


	9. Chapter 9

 

Kyungsoo discovers a number of things as he sits on the grass with Jongin's head in his lap, waiting for the younger man to come to. He eventually got bored of panicking fruitlessly and decided to go through Jongin's wallet. There were a number of small bills in multiple currencies, but more importantly, he found his driver's license.  _Kyungsoo's_  driver's license. Issued in August of next year. It's definitely his face, but younger, and he has no recollection of posing for it.

Also, he can read. At least he can read that it says he is not authorized to drive without prescription lenses, and cannot operate two-wheeled vehicles. Jongin's says the same.

Jongin's birthday is January 14, 1994, which Kyungsoo supposes was the day he showed up with the drawing pad, since it was right after his own birthday. He remembered Jongin being cryptic about its significance, but really, Jongin was cryptic about everything, so it didn't particularly stand out.

The bottom halves of two movie tickets, dated for three years from now. An access card, with "Jongin Kim" next to a small profile picture. What looks like a library card, under the same name. A little brass key, tucked into a back pocket. Some faded receipts, the oldest one barely legible, dating 6 years from now. The newer ones from a couple of months back.

He looks up at the street sign. Turns out he can only read in Korean. Bummer.

Jongin has a little folded up piece of paper squished into his wallet. It's thick though, so it bulges the leather up in the pocket it's been wedged into. Kyungsoo gives him a sneaky glance and pries it out, unfolding it carefully.

It was the last puzzle Jongin drew for him, the cow. "Uh! Salty!" the cow had said. How could he not have known this? Or maybe he didn't even try to look at it. He had to have known. He guessed it right when it should have been impossible. A salty cow. A goat. He folds it back up, catching a small doodle on the other side. It's simple. Just a smiley face. Even then, it has Jongin's sloppy style to it, where the mouth looked like an elongated heart almost. Kyungsoo stares at it for a while before finally smooshing the paper down into its original size and jamming it back into the wallet.

Jongin finally awakens after Kyungsoo's stomach starts growling threats at him. He has that dazed look in his eyes again, and it takes several minutes of Kyungsoo saying his name and pulling him up to sitting before Jongin finally snaps out of it. Abruptly.

"Sh-shit!" he hisses out, grabbing onto Kyungsoo's shoulders. Jongin looks around wildly and then finally back to Kyungsoo. "Did anything happen? How long was I out? Are you okay?"

"Calm down," Kyungsoo hurries out, the sweat breaking out over Jongin's pale skin worrying him. "Sit down. I'm fine. You're ...not fine, but we're okay I think. 

Jongin drags his hand roughly over his face. " _Shit_ ," he berates himself. "I don't even— Shit, that was a bad idea."

"Well, yes it was," Kyungsoo answers, although he's not sure they're talking about the same thing anymore.

The younger man eyes him warily. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you feel okay? Anything?"

"I should be asking you that," Kyungsoo says. They fall into an awkward silence.

"I'm hungry," Jongin finally says, voice weak and shaky again as the adrenaline fades.

Kyungsoo sighs. "I know, idiot. Do you think you can stand up if you lean on me?"

"I can take us back."

"No," he says quickly. "You will not. We're not going anywhere. Let's not go for three's a charm and see if it'll kill you."

There's a precarious moment where Jongin tries to balance against him, but his body is too long and skinny to properly sidle up to Kyungsoo while remaining somewhat upright and mobile. He ends up practically half-carrying the other man. Honestly, it might've been easier if he actually did carry him. It wasn't like he weighed all that much.

"Find a hotel. That's right in this plaza or really close by. No powers or anything. We're going to walk. We'll get some food. And then you're going to rest," Kyungsoo orders, looking sternly at the younger man.

Jongin manages a tired smile. "I would've preferred you take me dancing if you're gonna take me to bed."

"You look like a ghost right now," Kyungsoo admonishes. "Save your energy. Stop making jokes."

"We need to tell your parents," Jongin says suddenly. "They'll panic."

Oh crap, Kyungsoo didn't even think... "How?"

"Do they have a phone? ...Or Skype?"

"What's Skype?"

"Uh..." Jongin presses his thumbs right under his eyebrows, rubbing in small circles. "...if I had to ask someone to physically go there, it'd take days. I can take us back—"

" _No_ ," Kyungsoo barks out, too loudly. He flushes and glances around them, but turns back to narrow his eyes at Jongin. "Promise me. No powers."

" _Hyung_ ," Jongin whines out.

"They knew I was with you. They'll know we're together. It'll be fine. They'll panic, but it'll be for different reasons. It'll be okay." Or Kyungsoo hopes anyway.

It's difficult, but they manage to trek across the plaza to a rather upscale-looking hotel. Kyungsoo eyes it nervously, but Jongin powers right inside, undisturbed. It has a small restaurant in the lobby, and Jongin points at the menu randomly, repeating "to go, to go" and handing his card over when the cashier tries to verify his order, shaking his head quickly and waving his hands. At the front desk, the two have to mime and gesticulate with the attendant, and they wind up with a key card, the attendant writing a number down in its envelope and circling it over and over. "Piso veinticuatro. _Veinticuatro_." The card read 24024, so Jongin mashes the (24) button and they mentally cross their fingers. 

—

"I'll clean up, go to sleep," Kyungsoo orders, scooping up all their trash back into the to-go bag and dropping it into the small waste bin.

"Come to bed," Jongin says.

"I had just woken up. And besides, I'm sleeping on the couch over there," Kyungsoo answers.

"No," Jongin says. "To bed. Look, it's a huge bed, and it's way comfier than your dinky one at home."

Kyungsoo gives him an unamused look and walks purposefully over to the couch, sitting down in the middle of it.

"Kyungsoo-hyung, if you don't get over here, I'm going to limp and stumble and trip my way over there and sleep on you," Jongin threatens, lifting the cover in warning.

"Why?" he replies, scooting his bum to the edge of the seat but not getting up.

"Because I want you to," Jongin answers. "I don't feel good. Come take care of me."

"I _am_  taking care of you. Go to sleep."

Jongin's foot buckles before he can even put his full weight on it, and there's challenge in his eyes as he goes to lower the other leg.

"Oh my _god_ , scoot over," Kyungsoo huffs, practically racing across the floor. He mashes his pillow into Jongin's face to smother out the bright smile, but it only seems to make it worse. " _Scoot_. Stay on your side."

"Why, because you can't keep your hands off me?" Jongin teases.

"Because it's a big bed, and you're blackmailing me into sleeping in it, so stay on your side, you... _weird_...pervert person," Kyungsoo answers, rolling so Jongin can't see his face.

The other man is silent for a moment, but Kyungsoo isn't fooled. He waits him out.

"How are you so comfortable with hotels and restaurants and cities and all that, hyung?" Jongin asks softly.

Well, that was innocent. "I don't know," Kyungsoo answers, shrugging his shoulder. "It felt familiar, I guess."

"But _I_ don't feel familiar..." the other replies quietly.

Kyungsoo doesn't know how to respond to that. He should've just kept quiet during their meal instead of babbling off every thought that sprouted up.

"Is there someone else?" Jongin asks, his voice muffled now. Kyungsoo's curiosity wins out, and he rolls to see the other staring down at the bed intently, hand clapped over his mouth. Bracing himself.

"Someone else what?"

"Did you ch— Did you meet someone since you've been back home?"

"I...met you?" Kyungsoo offers, not getting his meaning.

"Did you _sleep_ with anybody?" Jongin spits out finally. He rolls over away from Kyungsoo immediately after.

  
_Oh_. That's an almost laughable question, even if it's clear Jongin wasn't asking in jest. Kyungsoo wants to answer, and part of him feels truly horrid, but it's the only bargaining chip he's seen.

"Answer some of my questions first," he says. "Then I'll tell you."

"So you did." And his voice came out steady, but he somehow managed to sound so broken.

"I didn't say that," Kyungsoo rushes out, feeling even worse now. "I just...I'll go first then, okay? But we trade questions. Is that fair? You promise you'll answer?"

Jongin's back stays quiet, so Kyungsoo reaches out and rubs at his upper back, right along the bumps of his spine. The man doesn't respond.

"I didn't sleep with anybody," Kyungsoo says. "I work all day, go to the dock to watch the sunset on the beach, go home and eat, and then sleep. Wake up next day, do it again. Every single day except the ones where you bulldoze in. How am I gonna sleep with anyone?"

"With your dick. That counted as a question. My turn!" Jongin says quickly. Kyungsoo smacks him hard on the butt before he even realizes what happened, jaw dropping as Jongin yelps and spins back quickly, eyes wide.

He's about to sputter out an apology when Jongin crowds into his space, practically climbing on him, and dipping down quickly, lining their faces up. His eyes are looking lower down on Kyungsoo's face, but he stops just shy of actual contact, to where the elder can feel the warmth of Jongin's breath hitting his upper lip. The man pants against him for several long seconds, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, slowly opening them back to slits, and pulling away and laying down on his side, not looking away from Kyungsoo's mouth.

"...So my turn," Jongin says, voice rough and deep as he licks over his own lips. "What—"

"No," Kyungsoo interrupts. "That wasn't an actual question. Don't cheat! It's my turn." Jongin actually stays silent. Eyes still fixated. Kyungsoo clears his throat, pulling the thick comforter up to his chest. "Umm...tell me about all these people that we know together."

"It'd make bad pillow talk," Jongin warns.

"You're suppose to answer," Kyungsoo reminds him.

The other man lets out a long sigh at this, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Kyungsoo watches his Adam's apple bob prettily and actually has to fight the temptation to reach out and touch it.

"It doesn't even matter," Jongin says eventually, but he continues. "There's Yixing. You met him first day. There's Chanyeol. You met him after. There's Luhan. I honestly have no clue how he's doing. He's moved, and there's no way to find him if he doesn't want to be found. Same with Yifan, although I think he's...somewhere in China, which is completely unhelpful. And then there's Jongdae, and he's back in L— he's with our parents. And that's....everyone."

"What about the other names?" Kyungsoo asks.

"That's another question, cheater," Jongin chirps out. "Tell me why you're suddenly so horny lately."

Kyungsoo feels his cheeks burning. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jongin raises a skeptical eyebrow, giving him a knowing smirk. Kyungsoo holds his gaze until Jongin tries to lift the comforter, then he squeals like a girl and yanks it back down to see a triumphant look on the other man's face.

"Don't!" Kyungsoo shrieks. Begs? He lets out an annoyed sigh. "Obviously, ...we were together. So you would be my ideal type, and now you're not all sad all the time. So it's just...natural. Like a habit."

Jongin drops another pout, displeased with the answer. "I think you're still lying..." he says, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"This is so awkward to talk—"

"When's the last time you touched yourself?"

Kyungsoo chokes on some saliva and manages to mumble out between his coughing, " _What_ —"

"Did you think of me when you did it?"

" _Stop_ ," Kyungsoo says. "It's one question only."

"I never asked why you were horny, so my first question was when the last time was that you touched yourself," Jongin says smugly.

Kyungsoo gapes. "Now _that's_  cheating."

"I only think of _you_..." Jongin says huskily, and Kyungsoo's mind goes completely blank for an embarassingly long amount of time before he recovers and it actually clicks what Jongin meant. He expects the blood to rush to his cheeks, but it sinks much, much lower instead.

"I—..." Kyungsoo swallows hard, his throat dry. "A couple of weeks ago. I don't remember."

"To what?" Jongin asks.

"That's another question," Kyungsoo mutters, trying to move on quickly. "What did you mean by jump to yesterday?"

"I jumped through time from last month to yesterday. How'd you touch yourself?" Jongin says hurriedly.

Kyungsoo stares at him.

"What?"

"What, am I suppose to give you a demonstration?"

"Yes, you may," Jongin says brightly, and Kyungsoo shoves at his shoulder.

"I will not."

Jongin stares.

"I wouldn't ask you this," Kyungsoo mumbles, looking away. "This is so awkward."

"You said you knew we're together. Why would it be awkward?"

"Well, we're not _currently_ together," Kyungsoo says, pulling the covers even tighter around him. "So yes, I feel very awkward right now." He finally tilts his head back up when he notices the other man has gone silent.

Jongin stares at him still, but his expression has sunken back down. It's off-putting to see Jongin be the one who's gaping like a goldfish. Kyungsoo recalls them laying on the beach and Jongin saying that they were nothing. He was just echoing. Surely, that wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"I—"

"I'm tired," Jongin says, rolling over the other direction. "Goodnight."

"Jongin..."

"I change my question," Jongin says to the opposite wall, curling up again. "Are you happy? Living at home?"

"Why?" He was expecting a sassy response of answering a question with a question. He'd practically set that out and lined it up for the other, but Jongin stays silent. "...I'm okay... It's boring. It's not really fulfilling, but it's my life, I guess."

No response from Mr. Sulk, who's practically folded in on himself.

"...One more question..." Kyungsoo says quietly, worrying his lower lip as he watches Jongin's shoulder rise and fall with each breath. "What are you trying to do? What are you planning?"

"I'm gonna fix all of this," is the response, but it's wet and shaky, and Kyungsoo can't even bring himself to feel unsatisfied at the answer. He lays there, facing Jongin, hoping he'll turn around and start joking again, but minutes pass and Jongin barely moves. Eventually, Kyungsoo's eyelids grow heavy and he leans back to turn off the lamp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo's not an ass. He just doesn't have an emotional connection to any of these things, and he's overwhelmed and confused, and there's a lot going on, and Jongin keeps trying to be both aloof and then hopeful that his hyung is back, and just nobody hate anybody here please.


	10. Chapter 10

"Kyungsoo! Please, Kyungsoo, please, please..." He was being jostled awake, Jongin shaking his shoulders roughly. A loud sniffle and more yelling. "Please, you need to calm down! You need to stop!"

 Kyungsoo's eyes finally wrench open, the whole room shaking as he adjusts. The first thing he notices is Jongin's panicked, splotchy face, smeared with tears and blood as he finally stops trying to shake the crap out of Kyungsoo. The second is that the room was still shaking.

 "—please, I can't get us out!" Jongin cries, his mouth a bloody grimace as he hunches over the other. Kyungsoo's brain feels like sludge and he wraps his arms around the younger man as Jongin sobs into his shirt, clinging tight to his arms, still begging. The floor, the building slowly settles as his mind does. He’s left drained, all the adrenaline ebbing away.

 "What happened," he says dully, panting. "You're bleeding..."

 "I tried to teleport us away… You were panicking in your sleep..." Jongin hiccups out, his words heavily muffled against Kyungsoo's chest, the shirt already damp and cold against his skin. "I'm so sorry—I couldn't— I don't know—"

 Kyungsoo starts stroking through his hair, trying to keep Jongin from launching into a full blown panic attack in the midst of recalling what set his off. "What happened?" he repeats. "Did I hit you? You’re bleeding…”

 Jongin shakes his head, squeezing Kyungsoo even tighter. "I got a nosebleed when I tried to move us," he mumbles, sniffling as he calms down. "My body couldn't handle it. I think I almost blacked out. ...Are you okay?"

 "I'm fine," Kyungsoo says quickly. He racks his brain trying to... He remembers sterile, white uniforms and long, shiny silver needles; Jongin kicking and screaming as they tackled him to the ground, and others strapped to gurneys, dead. Bled out. Mutilated.

 "What happened?" Jongin asks hesitantly, pulling his face away from the wet mess that once was Kyungsoo's shirt to look up into his eyes.

 "I had a bad dream..." Kyungsoo says after some consideration. "...A vision? Or a memory, I think?"

 This gives the younger man pause. "What about?"

 "People trying to kill us, I think..." Kyungsoo says, watching him steadily. Jongin doesn't look surprised. "I saw other people dead...strapped to beds with needles—"

 "Please," Jongin rushes out. "I'm not strong enough...we'll die here if you lose it again..."

 Again.

 "What do you mean again?" Kyungsoo asks.

 Now Jongin's eyes go wide, and he leans away, letting Kyungsoo's hands drop to the covers. He can see the gears in the other man's head turning. "Later?" Jongin begs. "Please, I promise."

 He had a feeling that was the best deal he was going to get. At least it was a promise this time. "Okay," Kyungsoo replies, peeling the shirt away from his body with a wince.

 "Sorry..." Jongin says, looking down at the shirt and then swiping at his own face. His own shirt and pants were ruined too, covered in dark blood. "I...I don't have any spare clothes...but you can go shower, and I'll try to wash it off..."

 "No," Kyungsoo says, scooting around the other man and sliding off the bed. "I'll wash it, but you need to rest."

 "I just woke up—"

 "And you're covered in your own blood after your body's violently told you for the third time in a day now that you're not okay. If you're not going to listen to me, at least listen to it before you get us both killed."

 Jongin goes white, which was not the reaction Kyungsoo was expecting. He huffs, one hand still holding the hem of the shirt out so it doesn't stick to his body, as he offers Jongin the other one. "Come on."

 —

 Jongin showers so quickly that Kyungsoo's barely managed to hang the clothes up to dry when he's stepping out onto the tile, tucking the towel around his waist. He barely gives Kyungsoo a glance as he shuffles past, looking cautious and meek, mumbling that he'll get them some food.

 Kyungsoo catches his wrist before he can head back into the bedroom, looking at his torso and seeing a different one superimposed over it, less ribs and sinew showing, not just more muscle but just...more substantial. He realizes he's just staring close up at Jongin's chest while the other man stands quietly. "...You're so skinny," Kyungsoo mumbles, letting his wrist go.

 "I-...I'll eat more," Jongin promises. Kyungsoo expected him to mock. Or flirt. Something other than this terrified little boy who refuses to tell him what there is to be afraid of.

 "How are you even paying for all this?" Kyungsoo asks later as they settle in for a quick bite, each donning one of the hotel’s plushy white robes.

 "I have a credit card," Jongin answers around a mouthful. "...Uh, well it's not mine. But I have it."

 Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him.

 "Stole it off some rich guy. I switch them out every couple of weeks. They can just call and get the charges dropped, since they clearly weren't wherever I was..." Jongin shrugs. He was still so quiet. Kyungsoo would say it was so unlike him, but this was pretty much how Jongin had been up until a month ago.

 "Ah," Kyungsoo says.

 Silence.

 "...How are you feeling?" he asks.

 "Tired," Jongin answers. Another casual shrug.

 "Do you want to talk?" Kyungsoo offers.

 Jongin waits until he's swallowed before he answers. "...About what?"

 Now Kyungsoo shrugs, pursing his lips. "I don't know. Whatever you want to talk about. It doesn't have to be just business." There. Take the bait.

 “...I don’t know,” Jongin says after some consideration. “Sorry.”

 He’s going stir-crazy sitting here, unable to wring any answers out of Jongin for fear that he might just shrivel up or shatter. “Games?” Kyungsoo offers. “Stories? Give me something here.” Blank stare. “Tell me…I don’t know, tell me a happy memory or something.”

 “All of my happy memories were with you…” Jongin mopes.

 “So...tell me one?” Kyungsoo is trying to be encouraging here, but he’s losing his patience and seconds from trying to launch into questions about this scary place in his dreams.

 Jongin chews on his lower lip, staring off in thought. Kyungsoo’s about to prompt him again when he finally starts talking. “You got me a goldfish once—” he says, a small smile on his lips.

 “—Did you name it?”

 “Of course,” Jongin says. “It was DK because it looked like you with its big eyes and fishy lips.”

 “When we were working in London,” His eyes light up as the memory replays in his mind, “I’d finally finished the Harry Potter books, and it was Lily’s gift to Professor Slughorn, and it was what made him tell Harry the truth finally.”

 Kyungsoo didn't know any of these names. “Why give you a fish though?”

 “Because I taught you how to read and that was my favorite series, but you had breezed through it before I did.” Jongin's smile falls completely. “It...It was cute.”

 “What happened to DK?”

 “Well, it died. Yixing couldn't fix it either. We worked too much, and I think it needed more than the little bowl it came in.”

 Kyungsoo didn't see how that was cute, but…

 "...I don't know how to get you home," Jongin confesses. "I—"

 "Don't worry about it. We'll stay here until you're completely better."

 "But...your fam—"

 "My guess is that my family would prefer a healthy, living son to possibly one who vanished out of existence if you're too injured and weak to properly teleport us back and get us stuck somewhere. Or just kill us from it. We can wait."

 Jongin furrows his eyebrows, looking down as he contemplates his options. "...Okay," he says finally.

 “Here,” Kyungsoo says, suddenly remembering. “An easy question:  why’d you jump into the water first day you came to me?”

 Jongin shoots him an offended look, eyes going wide and brows nearly joining with his hairline. “I did not jump!”

 “Trying to get my attention?” Kyungsoo teases.

 “I did not!” Jongin sputters out. “I was watching for you to come back to the dock from the shore, and I miscalculated where I’d land!”

 “How do you not know how to swim though?” Kyungsoo asks, laughing lightly at the memory and trying to imagine it from the other man’s point of view. “You almost drowned us both, you were panicking so much.”

 “It was cold!” Jongin says, throwing a potato chip at his face.

 “Remind me to teach you how to swim when we get back,” Kyungsoo says absently, grinning widely at the sulky, defensive pouty look on Jongin’s face.

 This softens the other man. “Okay…” he says. He can see the smile itching to form on the corners of Jongin’s lips.

 “Did we travel all over the world?” Kyungsoo asks. To think, he always wished he could just go further than the first town inland, and now he was in a place he wasn’t even sure he could find on a map. Barcelona, Jongin had said.

 “Of course,” Jongin says, nibbling on his lip in thought, and Kyungsoo finds himself watching the movement with fascination. “I mean, I was a lot stronger. We went anywhere we wanted. This one time, we even…” His eyes widen briefly and he licks at his lip, going silent.

 Kyungsooo watches his cheeks redden. “We even what?”

 “Uh…” Jongin says, clearly stalling. “We...uh...” His eyebrows scrunch down, and Kyungsoo recognizes this motion in himself when he’s caught in a lie and trying to fill it in with something else. “We landed in a zoo on the wrong side of the bear habitat.”

 “Uh huh…” Kyungsoo says, disbelief apparent. “What about the story you were gonna originally tell me?”

 Jongin flushes deeper and tries to discreetly cover his burning cheeks.

 “C’mon…” Kyungsoo says, scooting closer and prodding him in the shoulder jovially. “Clearly, it’s not something that was actually bad.”

 Jongin covers his face up, and Kyungsoo snickers as he pries the younger man’s hands away, holding on tightly so other can’t hide behind them again. “Ihave to know now…”

 “We…” Jongin huffs as he looks over Kyungsoo’s face, his lips making a thin line, deciding if he should just say it. “We went to a sex club in Brazil. You- we-...I mean, that’s hardly the craziest thing we’ve done. It...was fun.” He shrugs, looking down at their joined hands.

 “...What is a sex club?” Kyungsoo asks.

 “A club where people go to have sex, or watch other people have sex.” Jongin explains, looking at him like he just had to explain what water was.

 And with that, they’ve switched, and it’s Kyungsoo’s turn to flush at the idea. “Why would we...go to a— one of those clubs?”

 Jongin arches a brow and stares pointedly at him. “Because you wanted people to watch you fuck me, but we didn’t want it to be anyone we knew. It made sense at the time.”

 “...I don’t think...I would do that,” Kyungsoo says, unable to pull his jaw back up. He can’t help but imagine it now.

 This is apparently humorous, because Jongin flashes him a grin finally. “Pretty much all of our sexcapades were your ideas. You can think you’re an innocent little kid all you want, but you’re really just a nasty old man.”

 He can picture, way too easily, Jongin leaning back against his chest, legs spread wide for the whole room to see as Kyungsoo fucks into him, holding his knees open for everyone to watch his cock bouncing along to each thrust. No. “I—” His turn to stall. Shit. “I am not old.”

 “Still older than me,” Jongin quips, trying to sneakily suppress a yawn.

 Kyungsoo latches onto the opportunity, subtly crossing his arms in his lap. “Okay, off to bed with you then, you little baby.”

 “Muh?” Jongin says intellligently.

 “Go back to sleep, you’re suppose to be recuperating.”

 “What about you?” Jongin asks, looking worried, given what happened last time.

 “I’ll stay up. I’ll wake you if I get tired. We can take shifts.”

 “Are you coming with me?”

 “...Fine,” Kyungsoo says, unable to mean the exasperation in his voice. “Go.”

 —

 "Kyungsoo—ah—wait—hyung, shit—ahh!"

 Kyungsoo’s awaken by Jongin rudely trying to push his hand off of something hot and smooth, and he opens his eyes to discover that he had snaked it up one of the legs of Jongin’s boxers, his other hand around Jongin’s lower back, dipping under the waistband.

 “Uhh…” Kyungsoo grunts out scratchily, eyes going wide as he slowly retracts both hands. Jongin’s chest pumping quickly as he covers his face. They’re both panting hard. His eyes dare to drop down again to see the wet circle forming at the tip of the tenting boxers, and now...he can’t look away.

 Jongin lets out a frustrated groan, stuffing his hand down his boxers to reposition his dick, and Kyungsoo’s joins, squeezing as the skin shifts up around the head and he can see another clear bead of precum form as Jongin whimpers.

 He doesn't know what the hell he's doing, but he doesn't want to stop. It gets frustrating with the elastic bunching around his fist though so he retracts his hand, reaching back under through the leg to pop Jongin’s cock out of its confines, being pushed at an angle from the fabric. "...Is this okay?" Kyungsoo whispers, afraid to look up.

 Jongin answers by hiking the boxers up higher in one hand to allow Kyungsoo better access, biting down on his lip in anticipation.

 Every slow stroke pulls a moan from Jongin’s mouth. Every squeeze wrings more clear fluid from the slit at the purple tip, and Kyungsoo thrills as he feels it jerk in his palm. Jongin hasn’t even tried to touch him yet.

 “You fell asleep,” Jongin gasps out, eyes clenched tightly shut. He has the prettiest little grimace on his face.

 “I think I dreamt about the club or something… This is your fault...” Kyungsoo mutters, letting go and just gliding the pads of his fingertips along the shaft, watching it twitch.

 “You said you’d wake me up,” Jongin squeezes out the reminder, and it was almost admirable how much he was trying to stay focused.

 “I am waking you up…” Kyungsoo says, flicking the underside of the head with his thumb, careful not to give him enough friction. It is difficult, nearly impossible to hold onto the vestiges of the fading dream. “My pretty baby…” he mutters absently, recalling.

 Jongin moans loudly, pushing his robe off and rolling up onto Kyungsoo’s hips, gripping the bunched up fabric of his boxers so tightly, his knuckles have gone white.

 “Is that what I called you?” Kyungsoo whispers, his other hand brazenly sneaking up the other leg of the stretchy fabric to squeeze an ass cheek. “My pretty baby? My Jonginnie?”

 Jongin cums with a weak, choked off whine. His dick jerking crazily in Kyungsoo’s loose grip, the elder’s hand catching most of it, but some stray white streaks still land on Kyungsoo’s robe and the patch of his exposed chest from where the garment had loosened in his sleep.

 Jongin snatches his hand away as he drops down, chest pressed flat against Kyungsoo’s. He pushes his boxers down, but it catches at his thighs. “Please,” he begs, pressing Kyungsoo’s soiled fingers against the cleft of his ass. “God, it’s been so long.”

 Kyungsoo lets out a surprised moan as Jongin reaches between his own legs and into Kyungsoo’s boxers without hesitation, freeing his cock and twisting his fist over it deftly. Jongin resumes his whimpers in earnest the moment the elder traces a finger across his entrance, circling along the rim and smearing his release along there.

 “In,” Jongin squeaks, trying to back up onto the finger.

 It didn’t feel familiar, but it felt right. Kyungsoo smears Jongin’s cum all over his hole and presses his middle finger in up to the first knuckle, feeling the ring of muscle squeeze around it tightly.

 “More,” Jongin begs. “Please.” His hand moves frantically over Kyungsoo’s length, and it’s kind of rough without any lubrication, but Kyungsoo hardly notices the discomfort as he sinks the first finger in, carefully adding his ring finger. Jongin’s too eager, clenching onto them like a vise. It makes it difficult, especially without proper lube. He eventually gets to three fingers, scissoring the younger man open, when his own orgasm catches him off guard, Jongin moaning along with him.

 It was so intense, it leaves him utterly spent, his fingers slipping out Jongin’s hole, but the other man doesn’t seem to care, readjusting his legs to lay more comfortably, letting his boxers slide back up over his ass. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what he’s suppose to do right now. It takes him several minutes to become aware of Jongin’s ragged breathing.

 “...Did I hurt you?” Kyungsoo asks.

 “No,” the other says, following it with a weak chuckle. “I just missed it...I missed you...so much…” Another embarrassed laugh and he tries to hide his face in Kyungsoo’s robe. “Did you feel anything? Did...did that trigger anything?”

 Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to lie, but he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings again either. “Just what I got from the dream...but...it felt—” Right? Good? Hot? “—I wanted you. Definitely.”

 “That’s a start, right?” Jongin whispers.

 “It’s not the first time I’ve wanted you,” Kyungsoo confesses.

 “As long as it’s not the last,” Jongin chirps, sighing happily. “I can work with that.”

 “So...what now?” Kyungsoo asks. He can still feel Jongin’s erection pressing against his stomach.

 “I need another shower,” Jongin says. “There’s cum on my butt.”

 The elder smacks said butt, making a crisp, satisfying clapping sound as the other squeals and rolls away, zipping off to the bathroom.

 “Don’t jerk off in there,” he shouts toward the fleeing back.

 “Get us some food, you old fart!” comes the response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhhh, I struggled HARD with this chapter. I don't think I like it, but it's been sitting there getting chopped and re-edited a bunch of times. I need it out of my head. Thoughts? Errrgghghghhghh


	11. Chapter 11

“I missed you so much,” Jongin whispers into his hair as the water beats down on them. Kyungsoo had impulsively dashed into the bathroom after haphazardly ordering something off of the room service menu, but the other man just embraced him instead. He looks so happy, Kyungsoo can’t even feel disappointed, wrapping his hands around Jongin’s waist in turn. They stand there until the water starts running cold.

“I don’t understand,” Kyungsoo says back in the room, toweling off his shaggy hair. “Why are we leaving?”

Jongin shakes his head, distracted as he tries to map out a plan. “It’s not safe here…” he mumbles, trying to write down notes and balance the phone on his ear at the same time. “Yeah,” he answers to Chanyeol on the other line. “Good? Thank you. I’ll pay you back. Thanks.”

Kyungsoo stands with his eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Okay, Chanyeol rented us a car, and I’ve got directions. There’s less population if we head inland, but there are some areas along the coast that aren't as dense, and I think coast would be better,” Jongin explains, as if that means anything whatsoever to Kyungsoo.

He seems to realize this after Kyungsoo stares blankly at him in response. Jongin sighs, swiping at his eyes. “We’re playing Russian roulette every time you fall asleep. You get sexy dreams, which hey, I’m fine with, but you also get nightmares where you cause earthquakes. And you need to sleep and I can’t teleport, so we’re going to drive to somewhere less populated in case…”

“...In case what?” Kyungsoo picks up.

“In case you can’t control your powers,” Jongin rushes out. “Let’s go.”

—

“I can drive…” offers Kyungsoo.

Jongin snorts. “Not until like next year.” He glances over at the other. “I know you went through my wallet. You’re nosy as hell.”

Kyungsoo looks away sheepishly. “Anyway...so, tell me your plan,” he states as Jongin grumpily pulls into the street with their rental.

“I hate driving,” Jongin grumbles. “It’s awful. I hate it. It makes no sense. They should’ve invented mass teleportation by now. Ridiculous.”

“Do they? In the future?”

“No. Still cars. Ugh.”

Kyungsoo lets him get out to less congested areas before he prods him again. “Your plan.”

“Huh?”

“You said you wanted to fix everything. You had a plan,” Kyungsoo repeats. “Tell me your plan.”

“...Why?”

“Because,” Kyungsoo says. “You said I wouldn’t approve, and then you almost got yourself killed, so you need to tell me more about what’s going on before I just never hear from you again and wonder if it’s because you got yourself a new boyfriend or if you dropped dead somewhere.”

“I wouldn’t…” Jongin says, glancing over at him briefly.

“Wouldn’t what?”

“Get someone new.”

Kyungsoo’s not sure why these comments from the other man throw him off so much. It’s strange, having someone know so much about you in a life you don’t remember living, that’s in the  _ future _ , but is really in his own past. It’s...just strange. It’s hard to cope with.

“Did we...love each other?”

Jongin looks over for as long as he dares before turning back to traffic, a sulky pout on his lips. “I  _ still _ love you. Asshole.”

“It’s…” Kyungsoo stumbles. “It’s not my fault I can’t remember you!”

“You remember me enough to want to fuck me.”

“I-..I-...you’re hot, okay?” Kyungsoo feels the blush warming his cheeks. “It’s a natural response. Who wouldn’t?”

“That’s not exactly comforting,” Jongin says, although there’s a small smile playing on his lips at the inadvertent compliment. “And you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Didn’t want me at first,” Jongin says. There’s just nostalgic amusement in his voice now. “You were with Yifan first. Broke my heart.”

Kyungsoo can’t even recall the name. Someone else he possibly loved and was intimate with. It’s jarring.

“I thought you were gonna go by height or something,” Jongin continues, occasionally glancing over his way. “You roomed with Chanyeol after.”

“Did I...with Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo starts. Okay, so possibly having a face to tie with unknown memories might not be such a good thing...

Jongin laughs. “Nah, just me after.”

“What about you? Who were you with?” Kyungsoo asks, trying to shift the conversation to somewhat more even grounds.

“You were my one and only,” Jongin says.

“Oh…” Kyungsoo offers, pursing his lips. It feels even more awkward. “I...I’ve been with other people bef—”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Some older tourist woman when you were sixteen. This guy who was leaving the village to go to university. A couple of guys who went sightseeing. You’ve told me all of this.” Jongin says this too casually. Just dropping private details of Kyungsoo’s life before his feet. “You are such a perv. You like noonas, but for boys, you like them younger.”

Kyungsoo feels the blush returning. He’s speechless.

“Does it bother you that I know all of this?” Jongin asks after a moment, carefully.

“A little bit,” Kyungsoo confesses. “It’s just weird. My mom doesn’t know this about me.”

“Your mom probably doesn’t know about the mole on your dick either.”

Kyungsoo shoves at him weakly, a reluctant smile forming. “Ah,” he says suddenly. “Your plan. Stop distracting me.”

“ _ You _ were the one who brought it up…” Jongin argues, but he looks deep in thought, breathing lightly. “I need to practice more...but I can  _ do _ it, definitely. So it can work.”

“What?”

“Jumping through time. We thought only Tao could do it, but really, it’s just like...like writing your whole life with your right hand and then having to use your left. There’s just no muscle memory and everything feels wrong and weird, but it can be  _ done _ . I could jump through space, he could jump through time. But it’s the same thing, just...like on a different axis.”

Kyungsoo is about to ask who Tao is, but figures it’s best to just let Jongin continue and ask questions later.

“I want to go back to where we were.  _ Our _ present day, but right before all of it happened…” Jongin goes on. “It’d be...better, I think. Things weren’t very good, but Tao brought us back way too far. We had only been at the base for two weeks. Nobody was trained enough that they could actually do anything. So we have to go to the future.”

“Okay, I am completely lost,” Kyungsoo says. “I was just going to listen, but you need to break this down more.”

Jongin sighs. “It’s complicated. I don’t fully understand it. But okay...so...Tao can shift through time.”

“...Right.” Who the fuck is Tao?

“So we discovered that...our employers were really the bad guys, and they wanted to use us as much as they could before they tried to kill us.”

Oh. Wow.

“So Tao made a judgment call that we could fix all of this by bringing us all back in time to when it started. He took us back to about two weeks into training.”

Kyungsoo waits for more. He glances over to find Jongin watching him and nods. “I’m following.”

“Well, they had a contingency plan for that apparently, and were ready for us. So…” He licks his lips, grimacing for a moment before continuing. “So they took half of us out right as we landed. We barely escaped. So we can’t go back, but I think we can go forward.”

“Okay, stop.” Kyungsoo raises his hands, pressing the backs of them into his eyelids. “Holy crap, this is so confusing. Hang on. Let me process.” Jongin stays silent.

“Were we in the place? The facility? The... younger versions of us?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yeah. They were in the bunker at the time and got crushed to death,” Jongin says plainly.

Kyungsoo feels a tingle rush down his face. “...So we all died.”

“Yeah. But that wasn’t us.”

“But it  _ was _ .”

“But we’re here. So it wasn’t us. It was a different version.”

“This sounds like a really stupid plan,” Kyungsoo says.

“Probably, but it’s the only plan I’ve got.” Jongin’s face hardens, more resolute. “I  _ have _ to fix it, hyung.”

“What does everybody else think?”

“Nobody believed I could do it. And even then, I think they just...want to move on.” He sounds frustrated and disappointed.

“Do I get a vote in this?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Huh?”

“I don’t want you to do this,” Kyungsoo says. “I think it’s a terrible idea.”

“You don’t understand—”

“What’s wrong with just staying where we are? Why chance  _ killing _ yourself?”

“I  _ have _ to fix it!” Jongin shouts. “They’re all dead! There are only a couple of us left. You don’t care, because you don’t remember them, but I have to remember it every single fucking day!” He sniffles and swipes at his eyes angrily.

“...What are you going to do?” Kyungsoo asks softly, feeling an uncomfortable weight settling in his stomach. “Are you going to leave me here and go into the future? With the better me who can remember you?”

“No,” Jongin chokes out quickly. “I would never leave you.”

“Then don’t do this,” Kyungsoo says. “You don’t know if it’s even possible, or if things would actually work out. And you would have to keep practicing. So in the meantime, what? Would you bring me forward with you? Or do I sit here and wait while you disappear for months or years at a time?”

“...But I could come back too,” Jongin says after some thought. “Tao did.”

“Where’s Tao now? Why can’t he do it?”

“He’s dead,” Jongin says, as if it was obvious. “Taking all of us back at once and so far, he burned out.”

Kyungsoo remembers the dream of the man lying on the ground as chaos erupted around them, the dead eyes, the white pupils. That can’t be Jongin next.

“Would you have come back for me? Because I don’t remember running into any other versions of you. So that means you either left me here on purpose, or you can’t go back in the past, and you would leave me here accidentally. Either way.”

“I…” Jongin answers, unsure now. “I don’t know.”

“You’re right, you don’t.” Kyungsoo sighs. “You don’t even know if you can go back to that point. You might be able to go forward, but for all you know, that future is gone.”

“Since when did you know all about time travel?” Jongin huffs.

“Since never, but it makes sense to me. Things have changed, like you said. So maybe that track, that path is gone forever. Maybe there’s just this one left.” He nods for emphasis. This was a terrible plan and he needed to put a stop to it.

“Hyung, I have to try,” Jongin says weakly.

“You really don’t,” he counters. “Are those bad guys gone?”

Jongin gulps, eyes fixed on the road. “Yeah.”

“Then what’s so bad about staying here?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Tell me you’re not going to do it,” Kyungsoo says.

More silence.

“Jongin.”

“You don’t understand—”

“You said we were working for the bad guys, right? Were our lives really great? We must’ve done some bad things.”  _ What _ is possibly the problem with staying here?

“We...we did,” Jongin admits reluctantly. “...It wasn’t a great life. But we had each other, and that made it bearable—”

“So what’s wrong with staying here now? Is this not the better option?”

“I have to—” Jongin grips the wheel tightly, letting out a shuddering breath. “I have to fix things. People died.”

“Everyone else has accepted that apparently,” Kyungsoo says. “Maybe you should too.”

Jongin goes quiet again.

“Promise me.”

“You wouldn’t want me to, if you remembered,” Jongin answers sadly.

“So let me remember and actually decide then? We're not in danger right now. We have time,” Kyungsoo says, getting a miserable face in response. “Promise me.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything for a moment. The elder is about to prompt him again when he spits out, “You don’t even know me. What... does it matter if I do this?”

“I saved your life,” Kyungsoo says, having too vivid memories of Jongin ice cold and unconscious. “That makes me responsible for you. Now, do I have to ask you again?”

“I promise,” Jongin says reluctantly. Kyungsoo’s not sure he’s convinced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter I've ever had beta'd! It's so smooth and shiny now! I know the explanations are a little confusing, but that's because there's like a lot more.... But seriously, thank you so much to the bestest beta in the whole world, who I accidentally blueballed because she read halfway into the next chapter, but At1stSight is the bestest, and deserves hot Soo hair for 2017.


	12. Chapter 12

It doesn’t take long to reach their destination. Less than an hour, including when they had to stop at a convenience store to pick up spare clothes. Jongin’s not sold on how reasonably far away from the big city they are, but they don’t really have a lot of options.

Kyungsoo walks into their room. It’s small, but it’s not like they need much. There are two single sized beds. He should feel relieved, but he doesn’t.

Jongin stumbles to the nearest one and collapses sideways onto it, arms at his side. He kicks his shoes off and slithers under the covers. “My body hurts,” he whines out, his voice muffled against the sheets. “I  _ hate _ driving.”

The other bed is by the window...so it’s probably cold and drafty. It just looks unwelcoming, is what Kyungsoo decides. He sits at the edge of Jongin’s and slides his fingers through the younger man’s hair. It takes him by surprise that Jongin really does look younger to him. He definitely didn’t think that a month ago.

“Just say it,” Jongin mumbles against the pillow.

“Say what?” he asks.

“Say you wanna sleep with me.”

Kyungsoo retracts his hand, feeling himself flush. “Who said I did? I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You just flopped onto the bed.” He stands up quickly and is ready to huff off when the other catches his hand and holds him in place.

“Don’t be stubborn,” Jongin says, peeking an eye open. “I’m tired.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kyungsoo insists.

“I hate sleeping without you too.”

Kyungsoo lets out a sigh, looking over the small bed. It was going to end up like last time, with Jongin taking up all the room. He should go to the other one. Distance would be good. “...Fine. Move over.”

“Say it first.”

“You little shit,” Kyungsoo barks, shoving at him. “ _ Move _ .”

“Not ‘til you say it.”

“I’m gonna go sleep in the other bed,” he threatens.

“You’ll just sleepwalk over to me anyway. Might as well just stay over here,” Jongin says sleepily. His hand drops from Kyungsoo’s and goes behind the elder’s thigh, pulling him forward. “Say it already.”

Kyungsoo lets out a long sigh, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I want to sleep over here.”

“With?”

“...With you, move over.”

Jongin smiles smugly as he rolls against the wall to let Kyungsoo climb in. He immediately grabs his waist and pulls him close, rearranging the elder into a body pillow so he can lay his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“I feel used.”

“You love it.” He pulls Kyungsoo’s hand back into his hair and sighs happily. “Also, for the record...I’d like to request a happy, sexy dream instead of a scary one by the way.”

His fingers had just started to play with the soft strands when Kyungsoo looks down pointedly. “I don’t really choose, you know.”

“I think you do. If you go to sleep thinking of sexy thoughts, you get sexy dreams. Want me to tell you about the first time we tried breathplay?”

Kyungsoo smacks at his head, but with the angle, it’s barely enough to ruffle his hair. “I’m gonna leave,” he threatens, knowing just how empty that threat is.

“I’m just  _ saying _ ...it’s a lot easier for me to work with you trying to stick your wiener up my butt than you trying to bring the motel dow- _ ow _ !” Jongin pushes Kyungsoo’s fingers away from his side, rubbing at the red mark left behind.

“You done? I thought you were sleepy.”

“Hmph.”

—

Kyungsoo wakes up gradually, aware of an uncomfortable damp feeling on his shoulder. His eyes adjust to see Jongin’s head on it, his hair wet from sweat. Too much skin contact. He rolls the younger man over carefully, and Jongin mouths air for a moment before settling into the pillow, fast asleep.

So...no dreams, and Kyungsoo tries to tell himself he doesn’t actually feel disappointed. He extracts himself from the bed and hobbles off to the bathroom to relieve himself. His shirt is still wet, so he pulls it off and goes to the plastic bag to change into a new one. These are tourist shirts, stiff and oversized. It’ll do, but he misses his well-worn clothes from home. His fingers feel something else in the bag, and he pulls it out. It’s a small bottle. He brings it back to the bathroom so he can see it under the light, and nearly drops it in surprise, feeling himself flush and rushing quickly to stuff it back into the bag.

It’s a cold night, and Jongin was like a small furnace. Kyungsoo sighs in relief as he crawls back into bed, huddling close as Jongin hisses at the sudden temperature change.

“Hyung?” the man says, groggy and disoriented.

“Go back to sleep,” Kyungsoo says.

“Where d’you go?” Jongin asks, pulling him closer to warm him up.

“Had to pee.”

“‘Kay,” comes the sleepy reply.

Jongin’s scent is comforting and familiar, and even if Kyungsoo’s mind takes a long time to stop thinking about the bottle of lube sitting a couple of feet from them, he eventually slips back into sleep.

—

“Kyungsoo,” a warm voice says, and he feels a hand caressing his cheek. Kyungsoo lazily opens his eyes to find Jongin looking at him.

“Morning,” he manages, voice still heavy with sleep. He feels something hard poking into his stomach and suppresses a smug smirk. “ _ Now _ who’s perving?”

“Well...” Jongin starts, high pitched and drawn out. He looks down pointedly and Kyungsoo follows his gaze, swallowing hard at the sight of Jongin’s erection yet again pulled out of his shorts, Kyungsoo’s hand resting firmly against the cleft of the younger man’s ass. “What’d you dream about this time?” he asks huskily.

He’s faced with two choices. Kyungsoo chooses to go with his gut. He pulls at a cheek, spreading Jongin open and pressing his fingers against the other’s entrance. “This,” he says, pushing against the rim and grinning as Jongin whimpers in response. “This is mine, right?”

“Yes,” Jongin breathes out, reaching back and holding himself open for Kyungsoo to explore. “I’m all yours.”

This gives the elder some pause. He’s turned on like crazy, and Jongin is so willing underneath him, but something feels wrong.

“Kiss me,” Jongin says, pulling at Kyungsoo’s neck. He complies, pressing a chaste kiss to the younger man’s lips. Jongin moans hungrily against him, pushing forward for more and grinding their erections together, separated by Kyungsoo’s boxers.

“Wait,” he reluctantly says, letting Jongin jerk him off through the fabric for a couple of seconds before coming to his senses and pulling his hand away. “Wait.”

Confused eyes stare back at him. Kyungsoo clears his throat and extracts his hand carefully from behind the other. “This is a bad idea…”

“Better than most of our bad ideas,” Jongin counters, reaching for him again.

“This won’t mean as much to me as it would to you,” Kyungsoo says, grabbing Jongin’s hand before it reaches his waistband. The other man goes quiet, still looking cautiously at the elder.

“...You don’t want me?” Jongin asks, the vulnerable tone in his voice makes Kyungsoo want to kick himself.

“Of course I do. I really do. God, you look  _ beautiful _ ,” Kyungsoo rushes out. “But it’d just be sex with a really gorgeous guy for me, and it’d be like...a reunion and emotional and everything for you, and...I can’t give you what you’re wanting right now…” He is regretting it already, but he remembers Jongin’s happy face in the shower, the look of hope in his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Jongin argues, not even listening. “You’re still Kyungsoo.”

“It does,” he answers, pulling at the other man to hug him close. “It would hurt you. I’m not the person you want me to be right now.”

“So what now?” Jongin says sulkily, awkwardly tugging his shorts back up over his hips again. “Fend you off when you have sexy dreams?” He’s pouting. The baby.

“Well,” Kyungsoo says quickly, licking his lips. “I mean, the dreams help me remember, I think…”

Jongin raises an eyebrow in question, looking amused at the change in tone.

“So I mean…” Kyungsoo says, watching his face. “I mean, as long as it’s not  _ sex _ , and you understand...where we are...right now…”

“So what do you want, hyung?” Jongin whispers, dropping his voice to a deep, sultry purr.

“I don’t know,” he answers, scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m distracted and being selfish right now.” Kyungsoo tries to roll away, but Jongin’s pinning him down.

“You know what’d make me feel better…” Jongin says in a singsong voice.

“...What?”

“A blowjob.”  _ Smack _ . Jongin bites down on his lower lip in response and leans closer.

“You  _ like _ getting spanked, don’t you?” Kyungsoo asks, thoroughly fascinated, and immediately regrets it. This is not helping him extricate himself from this situation.

“I do...and I’m just saying, if you don’t want to put emotions into it, I sure wouldn’t mind one…”

"A spanking?"

"I meant a blowjob, but-"

“Did you hear anything I said?” Kyungsoo says, hearing how weak he sounds.

“Yep. It’s also been technically like...over six years since I’ve gotten a blowjob.”

“That’s in the future. Math doesn’t work that way.”

“Fine,” Jongin huffs, squinting his eyes in thought. “Going by actual timeframe, it’s still...a couple of months until I get one.”

“So there you go,” Kyungsoo says, pushing at him, but when Jongin lets him go, he stays motionless, unsure what to do without the mock fight. “I’ll pencil you in for one in a few months then.” That earns him, predictably, a big pout and sad puppy eyes.

“Okay...” Jongin says, looking away.

“...You’re trying to guilt your way into a blowjob, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“I didn’t  _ say  _ anything,” Jongin whines out, although it’s not really convincing when he peeks at Kyungsoo from under his lashes.

“I’m  _ trying _ to not hurt you here,” Kyungsoo says, closing his eyes and reaching down to adjust himself.

“A wise man once told me,” Jongin says, “that getting regular blowjobs was the secret to happiness and a long and healthy life.”

“Oh yeah?” Kyungsoo says, unamused. “Who’s this wise man?”

“You.”

His eyes open to a mischievous, hopeful look on the other man’s face. Kyungsoo lets out a snort, rolling onto his feet. “Come here,” he says.

Jongin’s shorts are off in a heartbeat, and Kyungsoo gapes for a moment before he tugs on the shirt sleeve. It follows seconds later, leaving the younger fully nude and bouncing excitedly on the edge of the bed, a wide grin on his face.

Kyungsoo dashes to the bag briefly, making crinkly rustling sounds as he sifts through it and hurries back. The other man doesn’t even look embarrassed, smiling proudly at the clear bottle. “So  _ that’s _ what prompted this,” he says with a smirk.

“Shh,” Kyungsoo says, blindly prying off the safety seal as he scoots forward on his knees, watching Jongin’s erection fatten back up in anticipation. “Spread your legs.”

Jongin obeys happily, even drawing his feet up to rest on the seam of the bed and holding himself open with his hands under his cheeks. His hole doesn’t look nearly as puffy and well-used as it should. Kyungsoo feels compelled to fix that.

The lube is cold on his skin, but he pushes a slicked middle finger past Jongin’s rim, sinking it all the way in and pumping steadily. He’s still fairly loose from earlier, and Kyungsoo can feel his body relaxing around it as he sighs, pleased. The elder pulls his finger out to distribute the lube, and presses two in quickly, provoking a surprised hiss from Jongin. “Too much?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice deep and gravelly. He doesn’t stop.

“ _ More _ .” Jongin insists.

“I thought the point was not to hurt you,” Kyungsoo says absently, watching the ring contract around his fingers. Jongin was clenching rhythmically. It felt so tight and tempting.

“ _ I _ thought I was going to get a blowjob,” Jongin snips, rocking down on the digits impatiently.

Kyungsoo adds another finger straight in, just like last time, and hears a muffled cry above him. Jongin’s hips don’t stop moving though, determined to make his body comply. “You’re so stubborn…” the elder mutters, watching curiously as Jongin moves his hand right above his erection, making like he wants to grab it and relieve some pressure. Kyungsoo smacks it away, and Jongin lets out a frustrated mewl.

He feels Jongin loosening up and pushes his fingers in deep on the next thrust, crooking as he presses firmly against a rough bump, sending Jongin’s hips flying up from the intensity. “ _ Ow _ !” he cries out, but he quickly tries to work Kyungsoo’s fingers back against his prostate again.

“Be a good boy,” Kyungsoo murmurs, pulling his fingers out and leaning forward to suck the tip of Jongin’s dick into his mouth, sinking down about halfway, smiling around it as Jongin lets out a surprised gasp that turns into a long, soft moan. Kyungsoo only goes down to where it touches the back of his throat and draws back up again, bobbing slowly as he drags his tongue along the underside. He pulls off with a loud pop to dig the tip of his tongue into the slit, listening to Jongin’s ragged breathing as he tastes the salty, slightly bitter precum leaking out.

“Hyung, please…”

“Please what?” Kyungsoo asks before sucking the length back down.

“Ah,  _ please _ ...use your fingers…”

Kyungsoo pushes three fingers back into his hole and pulls off of Jongin’s dick, leaning back to watch as the younger one flails on the bed, whining and flustered and missing the friction. He pumps quickly, every three or four strokes, crooking his fingers to just graze against the prostate, causing Jongin’s thighs to jerk in turn.

“You’re so sensitive,” Kyungsoo observes, watching the clear line drip down from the cock head to Jongin’s stomach, pooling already. He squeezes himself through the shorts, just enough to alleviate some pressure. “Want my mouth again, pretty baby?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Jongin practically shrieks and then groans in frustration as the fingers slip back out, catching on now. “You’re a bastard, oh my  _ fuck _ …”

Kyungsoo feels the telltale twitching and pulls off of Jongin’s cock again, smirking as the other hisses air out between gritted teeth, body tense as he tries to hold onto all the pressure Kyungsoo had built.

“Fingers,” Jongin gasps out impatiently.

“Not yet,” Kyungsoo says, stroking Jongin’s thigh lovingly. He really was so pretty all worked up like this.

Jongin keens out as his orgasm slips out of reach, but he still makes no effort to touch himself, only grabbing his knees and pulling them back further.

“Such a good boy,” Kyungsoo hears himself murmur out, getting more lube and stuffing Jongin’s hole again. He gropes himself with his free hand, staring at the slicked up ring getting scissored open further by his fingers. It was so tempting... “Can you cum just from this, Jonginnie?”

“No…” Jongin moans out, and the elder looks up to see him biting down on his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. He presses hard against Jongin’s prostate on the next thrust in, causing him to gasp and release the bruised flesh.

“I seem to remember you being able to cum from this…” Kyungsoo says, his other hand going up and stroking Jongin’s balls gently.

The younger shakes his head rapidly. “Not from this,” he begs. “Please. I can if you fuck me, but I need more…”

Kyungsoo raps his fingertips across one of Jongin’s balls, hearing the younger man’s breath hitch. He watches his face carefully as he does it again, just enough pressure for the suggestion of an ache to settle in. Jongin grimaces only briefly before his face goes slack, mouth drooping.

“So pretty…” Kyungsoo mutters, repeating the motion.

“Please, Soo…” Jongin starts moaning loudly as the elder switches to steadily flicking his sweet spot, moving his other hand up to circle Jongin’s nipple, his thumbnail occasionally catching against it, making the other gasp and lift his hips higher.

“You can do it, Jonginnie,” Kyungsoo says encouragingly, watching the pleasure play out across Jongin’s face. He withdraws his fingers as Jongin’s abs start flexing, his cock twitching. He was right on the cusp. Jongin cries out in frustration even as Kyungsoo goes down on him again, keeping just the head behind his lips as he sucks.

“Ung, no,  _ please _ ,” Jongin grunts, bucking his hips wildly as he cums. Kyungsoo’s hand goes to his thigh to steady him, his fingers thrusting back in quickly, and Jongin screams as he convulses into Kyungsoo’s mouth, his walls spasming around Kyungsoo’s fingers.

“Yes,” Jongin pants out eagerly as the elder makes his way up to him. “Yes,” he repeats, leaning forward and opening his mouth to suck his release off of Kyungsoo’s tongue, the other still pumping his fingers lazily as Jongin twitches from the overstimulation.

“Fuck me,” Jongin urges, grabbing Kyungsoo’s rock hard cock and freeing it from his shorts. He mashes their lips together again, teeth clacking against each other.

“I can’t…I shouldn’t...” Kyungsoo moans out, pulling back and looking down hungrily as his fingers slip out and Jongin’s hole is exposed, inviting and stretched and ready to be filled up.

The younger lets out an annoyed sigh, grabbing Kyungsoo by the shoulders and switching places. He dives down and swallows Kyungsoo’s cock all the way to the base, his nose pressed against coarse hair.

The elder runs his fingers through Jongin’s hair, moaning loudly from the tight, wet feeling around the head, Jongin pushing Kyungsoo’s length deeper into his throat as he relaxes.

Jongin clearly knows what he’s doing, and this is worlds better than a dry handjob. Kyungsoo is already getting close, lifting his hips and fucking into Jongin’s mouth, watching as he stares back up into Kyungsoo’s eyes, encouraging him. It’s too much. His orgasm hits hard, and he manages to squeak out a whimper, pulling Jongin’s head forward as he thrusts as deep as he can go.

Kyungsoo goes limp, and Jongin pulls off, gasping for air and somehow still managing a smirk. “All this talk about wanting to keep me alive,” he says. “And you try to choke me to death on your dingaling.”

Kyungsoo shoves at his face weakly, reluctantly scooting over to make room for Jongin to lay down next to him.

“We gotta go get some food.”

“No room service here.”

“How are you feeling?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Splendid,” Jongin quips.

Silence follows, dragging on for almost a minute before Jongin breaks it. “I swear, I can hear you regretting it. If you kill my buzz, you can go sleep in the other bed, hyung.”

“I don’t!” Kyungsoo rushes out, although he rolls back onto his feet and picks up Jongin’s clothes, handing them to him. “I don’t regret it. I just...worry about you.”

Jongin’s lips form a thin line as he scowls up at Kyungsoo. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, last time you said that, you passed out at my feet.”

“Yeah, well…” Jongin says, pulling his shorts back on and hip-checking Kyungsoo as he passes. “Your blowjob skills aren’t  _ that _ good. It’s morning. I think we can actually go get some churros now.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing At1stSight beta'd this for me. <33


	13. Chapter 13

Jongin steals bites of Kyungsoo’s churros and shamelessly gropes at his ass and rests his forehead against the elder’s nape despite them standing in the corner of a grocery store and people giving them disapproving looks. Kyungsoo finds himself giggling along to Jongin’s dumb jokes. It’s so easy, just being with him. Eventually, they walk through the aisles and Jongin interlocks their fingers. Casually, like it’s normal and expected. A habit.

“You’re looking at me funny,” Jongin says, studying the frozen food box in his hand.

“Am not,” Kyungsoo replies, glancing away and staring blankly at the frozen vegetables in front of him.

Jongin squeezes his hand, still not looking over at him. “Tell me.”

“I just like looking at you. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all once you’ve confessed. Look all you want,” Jongin says, smirking as he finally sets the box down.

“Punk,” Kyungsoo sneers, pushing their entwined hands into Jongin’s hip.

“Punk?” Jongin repeats. “But you’re just a scrappy little kid, that’s so rude!” he says, making his voice exaggeratedly shrill, giggling before he can even finish the sentence and shuffling out of the way when Kyungsoo feints a slap.

“How are you feeling?” Kyungsoo asks a bit later, once they’ve paid and made their way back into the parking lot. Jongin looks tired and sleepy, but his features aren’t as sunken as they were.

“I’m okay,” Jongin answers, a glint in his eyes. “I could be better.”

Kyungsoo watches him carefully. “How so? We can stay as long as you need, but if it’s gonna be a week or more, I need to find a way to tell my parents.”

“You’re ruining my punchline,” Jongin says, canting his head slyly. “It was ‘I’d be better if I got laid’ but now the moment is gone.” He sighs dramatically.

In the rental car, Kyungsoo purses his lips and glares until Jongin starts squirming. “You know why I didn’t.”

“Uh huh.” And now he’s pouting.

“Jongin…”

“So  _ technically _ , that was a meal and an activity, which makes it probably...actually, it probably balances out on our scale. It was an okay date,” Jongin says, as if he’s been planning this out in his mind. He chances a peek at the elder. “So the question is, are we going to proceed as if it was a date, or do you have to go to sleep first to have the pretense to fondle me? We both know you're gonna do it anyway.”

“Are you calling churros and a walk around a grocery store a date?” Kyungsoo asks for clarification.

“You’ve fucked me against a break room refrigerator before just from  _ planning _ a date. I’d say this was an upgrade.”

“I think you must be making all of this up. This doesn’t sound like me.”

Jongin casts such a strong side eye, Kyungsoo actually has to look away. “You were going so hard, it tipped the fridge over. And that still didn’t stop you until Chanyeol walked in on us. You can call and ask him yourself.”

“Tipped over,” Kyungsoo says doubtfully.

“Well, like,  _ backward _ . It tilted against the wall. The freezer stopped working after that. Ruined my waffles.”

—

Kyungsoo doesn’t quite know how it happened, but they got back to the motel and Jongin's frisky hands and little teasing looks led to them making out on the bed with him pinning the aforementioned hands above Jongin's head in one of his own and kneading Jongin's ass with the other. Jongin has his legs wrapped around Kyungsoo's, lifting his hips up to meet Kyungsoo every time he grinds down.

“We should stop,” Kyungsoo breathes out unconvincingly as he licks into Jongin's mouth. His grip weakens and Jongin's hands slip free.

“Okay,” he hears, and then Jongin's fingers wrap around his stiff length, and his shorts are being pushed down, Jongin's legs helping to slide them down to his calves. He moans out as Jongin lines his own bared erection up against Kyungsoo's a moment later.

“That’s not what I meant,” Kyungsoo stutters out as Jongin deftly strokes both of their cocks. This isn't fair. Jongin knows his body so well, knows just how to push him. “ _ Fuck _ ,” he groans out as Jongin rolls over and flatten his torso against the mattress, his ass on display, his pretty hole still puffy from earlier.

“I just want like five minutes,’ Jongin gasps out after Kyungsoo's palm connects with one of his cheeks, and it turns pink almost immediately.

Kyungsoo is mesmerized, squeezing the globes before him and spreading them apart, using the pads of his thumbs to stretch the rim out, watching it flutter helplessly. He gulps hard. “What?”

“Fuck me,” Jongin says, his voice so light and smooth, reaching a hand behind his back to rub two fingers against his entrance. “Just for like five minutes. I just need to feel you.”

Kyungsoo pushes them away possessively. Jongin had said this was  _ his _ . “You could probably cum in just five minutes. You could probably make  _ me _ cum in just five minutes,” he mutters. The symmetry is off: one cheek tan and the other pink. He has to fix that. The next slap pulls the softest moan from Jongin, who arches his spine even deeper so Kyungsoo can see his dick hanging down, stringing precum onto his thigh.

“Two minutes,” Jongin negotiates. The other cheek is too red now. It's still not even.  _ Smack _ . Jongin gasps and reaches back blindly, finding Kyungsoo's cock again and giving it a few hasty, rough jerks.

“No minutes. You didn't...even buy any condoms,” Kyungsoo tries, pushing Jongin's hand away. He was running out of excuses. It's not enough. He wants to see his handprint on that beautiful skin.

“We haven't used condoms in ages,” Jongin mumbles out after he recovers from the flurry of smacks Kyungsoo rains down on his ass, whimpering as each one connects. “ _ Please. _ ”

His palm didn’t land in the same spot each time, so it’s more of a big, splotchy red patch than a handprint, but Kyungsoo feels satisfied, running his fingertips across the hot, angry skin and seeing Jongin’s hole contract. He lets Jongin push him down onto the bed and climb into his lap, stretching his long torso over to grab the lube off of the nightstand and slick up Kyungsoo’s cock before he’s fully aware of what was going on.

“Wait,” Kyungsoo squeaks out, pulling him close. Jongin growls impatiently above him, still stroking furiously over his shaft. It was distracting as hell. “No minutes,” Kyungsoo repeats weakly.

“I just wanna put it in, that’s it. Just for a little bit,” Jongin coaxes breathlessly. “It’ll help you remember.”

“What, do you have a magical asshole or something?” Kyungsoo grunts out, although he pushes Jongin’s hand off and replaces it with his own, positioning the head as Jongin lifts his hips. He can’t bring himself to fight it when he’s been wanting it for so long and Jongin’s so needy and willing on top of him.

“You tell me,” Jongin says, dropping down smoothly.

Kyungsoo chokes out gasps and moans as Jongin starts bouncing right away. He grabs Jongin’s ass with both hands, pulling a hiss from him and finally causing him to stop. “You said you were just going to put it in,” Kyungsoo says, his voice hoarse and tense. Jongin was so tight. Too tight. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” is the impatient answer. It had to ache. He squirms, and Kyungsoo has to grip onto his hips to keep him from moving again.

“You said this would be enough,” Kyungsoo whispers, pulling himself up to sitting and scooting them back until he could lean against the headboard. Jongin grabs his hair and guides Kyungsoo to one of his nipples, clenching tightly as Kyungsoo traces circles around it with his tongue.

“Fuck, Kyungsoo, you feel so good,” Jongin moans into his hair, rolling his hips now, grinding Kyungsoo deeper into him, managing to create friction even as the elder’s hands keep him from lifting back up. “I forgot how big you were, how much you fill me up.”

“This is  _ such _ a bad idea,” Kyungsoo hisses out, moving over to pay attention to the other nipple and swelling up more from Jongin’s little gasps of pleasure in response. He’s still rocking back and forth, cock dragging against Kyungsoo’s abdomen, weeping precum.

“Touch me,” Jongin repeats, over and over, grabbing at one of Kyungsoo’s hands to direct it between them, bouncing up and down again the moment he can get the leverage.

“I should just spank you again instead,” Kyungsoo says, feeling heady as he watches his own hand stroke over Jongin’s shaft.

“Yes, you should,” Jongin says, speeding up. He keeps letting out these little helpless whimpers that seem to reverberate straight down to Kyungsoo’s cock. “ _ Ahh _ ,” he gasps out as Kyungsoo starts lifting his hips up. “Oh fuck, right there — _ Kyungsoo _ ! ”

“Are you close?” Kyungsoo asks, loosening his grip to just feathery touches. He’s surprised how level his voice is, considering how quickly his orgasm was mounting. “Are you gonna cum on my dick, pretty baby?” He drops his hand down to press his thumb in beneath Jongin’s balls, feeling the firm base of his cock.

“Nng, Kyungsoo,” Jongin rushes out. “Please, I wanna cum,  _ please _ !”

“You didn’t say you wanted to cum, Jonginnie,  you just said you wanted to feel me inside you,” Kyungsoo reminds him, pressing in rhythmically, enjoying the occasional pulsing against his thumb. He doesn’t even know where the words are coming from, but it's making Jongin go out of his mind, and it just feels right. “Are you a liar, baby?”

Jongin shakes his head, grimacing as he tries to hold back his orgasm but still riding hard, ass slapping against Kyungsoo’s hips despite how raw Kyungsoo made them earlier. “No,” he says frantically. “No, please, I'm so close, I want to cum with you.”

“Cum then…” Kyungsoo mutters, letting go as Jongin's dick twitches, hot spurts landing on his chest as he drags Jongin in for a kiss. Jongin cries out against his lips, managing to pull enough sense together in the midst of his orgasm to suck hard on Kyungsoo's lower lip; his tight, spasming walls pushing Kyungsoo over. He groans, pulling Jongin's hips down so Kyungsoo can shoot deeper inside of him.

Jongin takes forever to come back down, his whole body twitching. His face stays blissed out, eyes shut, as he presses lazy kisses onto Kyungsoo's lips.

“You're always like this afterward, aren't you?” Kyungsoo says softly, drained and high, stroking his fingers along the bumps of Jongin's spine.

“You remember?” Jongin mumbles against his mouth.

“A little bit.”

“My ass  _ is _ magical.”

Kyungsoo swats him on said ass lightly, but the skin is so tender, Jongin still flinches a little. “Don’t sass me. Clean up your mess so we can shower.”

“Mm, you  _ do _ remember,” Jongin hums, lifting up onto his knees so Kyungsoo's shrinking cock slips out. He laps at Kyungsoo's chest, and a little ways down his stomach, coming back up with his mouth held open.

Kyungsoo stares dumbly for a moment at the sight, but recovers and presses a finger against Jongin's tongue, into the white pool he's holding, feeling the spongy surface. He smears the spunk onto Jongin's lips before nudging his mouth close. Jongin's Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and Kyungsoo pulls him forward to lick the remaining salty mess off himself.

“That's new,” Jongin says, stepping off the bed onto unsteady feet.

“You looked so good,” Kyungsoo answers, rolling out of bed and following him. “I'm surprised you had anything left after the last couple of times.”

“Should’ve just fucked me from the start,” Jongin says.

In the shower, Jongin practically lays on him. “Love you,” he murmurs sleepily, but it rings out clearly despite the water.

Kyungsoo freezes, unsure of how to respond. Jongin doesn’t seem to notice, starting to grow heavy on him. He must be ready to conk out.

They dry up and head back to the bedroom. Kyungsoo isn’t tired yet, but Jongin insists on joining him on the small couch. He starts dozing off as soon as Kyungsoo flips through the channels, weaving his fingers through Jongin’s wet hair as he rests his head in the elder’s lap. The hotel where they stayed yesterday appears on the screen, with a reporter saying something about “actividad sísmica inusual” with the same caption displayed in a marquee underneath. The screen changes to a mountain range surrounding a large crater and the marquee changes to “Colorado, Estado Unidos”. Kyungsoo recognizes “Colorado” but not much else. The images still leave an unsettling feeling in his gut.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says.

“Hmm,” comes the sleepy reply.

“Why are you staying in Colorado?”

“Can I tell you later, I’m so sleepy,” Jongin mumbles.

“They’re showing the hotel we stayed at on the news,” Kyungsoo continues, sounding and feeling eerily detached. “They showed a picture of Colorado after with a big hole in the ground. That doesn’t sound like a coincidence.”

“Later,” Jongin whines out, rolling over.

“Did I cause that?” Kyungsoo asks. He doesn’t get a response. Jongin’s out. Kyungsoo eventually falls asleep too, but he keeps replaying the clip in his mind, looping with Jongin’s worried glances the first day he took Kyungsoo off the island. ‘In case we had to get back here quickly,’ he had said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So...they probably shouldn't have fucked, but it happened, and now dunDunDUNNN...


	14. Chapter 14

Dreams are so weird. This must be another memory embedded in one. He does not recognize these faces, but he knows their names as he walks past them, interact with them. He feels affection and annoyance and loyalty to these people.

Well, not right _this_ moment. Right now, he has Jongin in his bed, who is biting his lip to keep from whining as his orgasm seeps further out of reach with each passing second. It’s not quite a lucid dream, where he can control things. But he is aware that it is a dream. Is aware of himself. And he’s very aware of how needy Jongin is underneath him as Kyungsoo dips his head down to push the head of Jongin’s cock just past his lips before pulling back, blowing cool air across it afterward. He can see the white splatter all over Jongin’s thighs, over his pretty hole, where Kyungsoo had came earlier, pulling out in the last moment to deny him even that.

“I thought you said this was mine, baby,” he hears himself say, nuzzling against the velvety skin. Jongin’s legs tremble underneath him, and Kyungsoo hides a smile.

“It is. I am,” Jongin rushes out, hands fisting the sheets. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like anyone touching what’s mine without permission,” Kyungsoo whispers, pulling back even more. Jongin has cum from less stimulation than this.

“ _Please_ ,” Jongin begs. He has to wonder though if Jongin touches himself on purpose, to push him this way.

“Maybe we should switch things up for a bit. Have you just fuck me until you learn to listen again,” Kyungsoo says. He’s considering it actually. Jongin would have to take his time to open Kyungsoo up before he could even start to take care of his own arousal. It was tempting.

“No, Soo, please,” Jongin whines, growing desperate as the elder pushes a finger into him, pressing the cum inside, where it belongs.

“What’s wrong with that?” Kyungsoo says, pulling out to gather up more of his seed and pushing three fingers back in. Jongin gasps and bucks his hips in response. It’s involuntary at this point. “Can’t this greedy little hole go a week without me?”

“I could’ve gone a whole lifetime without ever needing to hear that,” Tao drawls in disgust. Jongin must have forgotten to lock the door again. Kyungsoo looks at him to find Jongin thinking the same thing, clenching around his fingers as if that could keep them inside.

“Go away, dude!” Jongin practically shrieks as he feels the fingers slip out. He’s bordering on crying from frustration now, hiding his flushed face behind his hands. He’s still so shy.

“This is important,” Tao insists, crossing his arms as he stares pointedly at them.

“Make it fast then,” Kyungsoo says, bobbing down on Jongin’s shaft once, twice, before popping back off, giving him a wicked grin as Jongin makes a strangled moan in surprise. “He’s going to scream pretty soon.”

“Are you serious right now?” Tao gapes. “You can’t wait like two fucking minutes?”

Kyungsoo answers by parting Jongin’s legs and licking quick circles around his entrance for several seconds, just until Jongin can’t hold in his moans anymore. Kyungsoo crawls up his body, watching Jongin’s eyes snag on the white smeared across his cheek.

“Come the fuck on, man!”

“About to,” Kyungsoo says, leaning down so Jongin can lap it off eagerly. They were barely able to see each other all week, much less have any time for intimacy. He’s not stopping just because Tao is here. Kyungsoo glances over just before he bottoms out to find they are alone once again. Maybe Jongin did lock the door after all.

It’s nearly an hour later that Tao materializes in the same spot. Ah, that makes sense. He holds a finger to his lips as he frees his arm from underneath Jongin’s snoozing head.

“You two are disgusting,” Tao sneers.

“Expressing our love is not disgusting,” Kyungsoo counters, keeping his voice low. Jongin needs his sleep. They only have the rest of the night together, and then they’re back to work again tomorrow morning. Kyungsoo plans to leave his baby sated and sore once he’s had his fill.

“Yeah, I don’t think we whip the ones we love.”

“Spank,” Kyungsoo corrects. Jongin doesn’t like the whip. They got rid of it ages ago.

“Whatever, oh my fucking god, stop distracting me with your gross hobbies. _Anyway_ , I think we have a problem, and I had to fucking jump because you two can’t hold it for two fucking minutes.” Tao gets so huffy when he doesn’t get what he wants right away. Kyungsoo enjoys exploiting that.

“So what’s the urgent problem?”

Tao’s face drops to a very serious expression. “I can’t jump past two years from now.”

“What?”

“I saw something earlier, and so I tried to jump, and the furthest I could get was two years.”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes. “When was earlier?” That's the problem with talking to Tao. His idea of earlier might be next month or it could mean last week. Very rarely was it actually within a couple of minutes or hours.

“A few days ago. I was trying to jump back to then, but I guess it was a little off. I’m avoiding your fucking room from now on.”

“I don’t know why you didn’t before,” Kyungsoo says, smirking internally as Tao glowers at him. “But why two years? Are you losing your powers?”

“It was empty when I got here, okay? And no.” Tao gives him an indignant huff. “I can jump all the way back to right after my first jump. From there, I can jump all the way forward...just not past two years from now.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know!” Tao shouts, and Kyungsoo glares at him, but Jongin only stirs minutely at the outburst. “Fuck, what if that means I die in two years?”

“How can you die?” Kyungsoo says. “You literally can stop and jump through time. That’d be like saying Jongin could die.”

Tao waves his arms wildly and starts pacing around the room. “The _point_ is I just can’t, and that has to mean something.”

“Maybe that just means you can’t jump anymore,” Kyungsoo offers. It’s a small consolation, but it’d be infinitely better than death. He remembers the other half of Tao’s problem. “What did you see though?”

Tao’s eyes widen at the reminder and his pacing speeds up. “One of those 'technicians’ was poking around the walls of my room, and I think they're trying to line it with something.”

Kyungsoo stares at him. “You know you sound like a crazy person, right?”

Whatever Tao was going to say next sounds like it was coming from underwater, and the dream distorts and fades. The next thing Kyungsoo can actually make sense of is Tao’s terrified face right up against his, people pressed tight against him, and an eerie sound, like wind blowing through an empty hallway, causing the faintest of echoes. There was blood splatter everywhere. He remembers the coppery smell drowning out everything else. He remembers watching Tao’s eyes, watching his irises burn to white and then dull, right in front of him. He sees Tao’s body hit the ground just as the wind stops, just as the blood scent recedes.

Chaos explodes around him. He doesn't even remember holding onto Jongdae, and clings tighter to him as the bullets whizz past his head. One of the technicians hits him square in the chest with a skinny rifle, and Kyungsoo looks down to see a dart sticking out, followed by another moments later. Everything is slowed down, like his head was stuffed full of cotton. There were two different groups shooting at them. One were the so-called technicians, who were armed with these darts that were messing with Kyungsoo. The other were in military uniform and came much better prepared. He sees something in his periphery: Jongin getting thrown to the ground and a clear mask being forced over his face while he's kicking and screaming.

But he is still himself, and he can feel the power around him, inside of him. The wall splits behind Jongin and the man holding the mask over him is crushed. Kyungsoo doesn't let go, pulling out massive stone slabs from the walls and sweeping them into the soldiers, sending a good amount of them flying back until they land with a sickening crunch.

He _can't_ let go, Kyungsoo slowly realizes. He watches the seam in the wall grow, zigzagging up into the ceiling. It threatens to open wide when Jongin dives for him and he feels Jongin grip tightly onto his wrist before they are pulled through a vacuum.

—

Kyungsoo wakes up to a brightly lit window. He tosses his hand over his eyes to shield. It takes him several minutes to try again, realizing he is in his bedroom. In his bed. He hears loud voices coming from the living room.

How the hell did he get home? Where was Jongin? He pauses with his hand on the door handle, wondering if maybe he just had the most elaborate dream and Jongin was all just in his mind.

There's a man standing in the living room. He looks so familiar, _so_ familiar, that Kyungsoo stares instead of greeting. His parents are there as well, looking terrified out of their minds.

He takes a step forward and gasps, breaking into a sprint and collapsing onto his knees before the couch, where Jongin lay, looking pale and somehow even more lifeless than the last time he fainted, nearly the entire front of his shirt was soaked in a deep red.

“Kyungsoo,” the man says, and he turns to the voice. “Long time no see.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Yixing should get here soon,” the man says. “Kid's stable for right now, I think.”

“What happened,” Kyungsoo asks numbly, brushing his hand over Jongin's fingers. Jongin felt so cold that if it wasn't for the shallow rise and fall of his chest, Kyungsoo would be having a full blown panic attack right now. There's blood crusted into his hairline and a couple of spots lower down on his neck where someone must have missed when they wiped all the blood off his face.

“What you should  _ really _ be concerned with right now is Jongdae has landed in Incheon and is also heading here soon. I don’t know what happened last time, but a repeat sounds undesirable.”

“I did this to him,” Kyungsoo whispers. How many times has this happened now… How much can Jongin’s body take?

“He's still alive. He'll be fine,” the man says dismissively, sounding amused, like Kyungsoo was being dramatic or childish or something. “I'll bring him over into town after Yixing gets here and makes sure he can survive the move.”

Kyungsoo turns around to face him at that. “He's not going anywhere. He's hurt.”

The man smiles, rolling his eyes up toward the ceiling. “I saved his life, by the way. He wasn't breathing when he dropped you two here. And I'm guessing he stopped breathing because of you, Soo. So really, I don't think you're the one who should try calling the shots for what's best for Nini. Let his brother take him back to London. Let him spend time with his family. You have yours again too. Live. Move on.”

“And who the fuck are you to decide?” Kyungsoo snaps. 

The man blinks and purses his lips. He brings a hand to his chest, feigning offense. “Do you really not recognize me?”

Kyungsoo doesn't really care who he is. He doesn't care about anything outside of Jongin’s next breath right now. But the man didn't just state that Jongin was leaving. He was suggesting that Kyungsoo accept and let him go. There  _ has  _ to be room for negotiation. 

“Please,” he tries. “Leave him here. I can take care of him.” If they take Jongin, Kyungsoo would never be able to find him. He’d be trapped here. Even if he got out, he had no idea where in London to look and no way to go if he did.

A large hand squeezes his shoulder, going for comforting. He shrugs it off, and the man changes tactics. “Soo, you're going to kill him if he stays. The kid would do anything for you. He's too blinded to know when to stop.”

Kyungsoo doesn't answer, so the man continues. “Jongdae called me after news hit of that hotel in Spain with your seismic signature. He flew there, I came here. We don't have long.”

“What happened?” Kyungsoo asks again.

The man stays silent, and Kyungsoo eventually pulls his attention away from Jongin to turn around. The man cants his head toward the front door, followed by a pointed glance toward his parents. Kyungsoo had forgotten they were even in the room.

“You should let them go, Kyungsoo,” his mother pipes up. She sounds terrified. “It’s not safe with them here.”

They were just relaxing on the motel couch a few hours ago. They were cuddling. Jongin was recovering so well. He was hyper and flirty and now he’s unconscious and covered in his own blood. Kyungsoo looks back up at his family. “Can you leave us for a little bit?”

His family looks wary.

“Please, I am fine. I need to talk to him.”

They shuffle out reluctantly, Kyungsoo’s father casting his best warning glare at the man, who wiggles his fingers goodbye at them.

“Your family used to love me,” the man says sulkily once the door has closed behind them.

“What?”

“When we were a thing,” he says. “Your mom used to make the best duck soup when I'd swing by for dinner. Oh man, I still miss her food sometimes.”

Kyungsoo turns around to stare blankly at the man, who furrows his brows and stares back in return.

“Tell me you know who I am.”

“I’m guessing you’re Yifan,” Kyungsoo says. So now he has a face to go with a name of someone in his past. It would've been better to have gone without.

“You’re  _ guessing _ ? So it’s true?”

“You know you’re asking the dumbest questions, right?” Kyungsoo snips.

“Don’t get catty just because you replaced me with the bratty boy wonder here,” Yifan says, plopping down on the armchair. He pulls the bottom hem of his shirt away from his body in disgust, sneering at the blood stains left on there. He smirks up at Kyungsoo, waggling his eyebrows, “I see you remember  _ him _ just fine though, huh?”

“Please leave him here,” Kyungsoo repeats.

“Your parents saw the hickies too, by the way. So I’m sure they’re going to have all kinds of fun questions.” Yifan reaches a hand toward Jongin’s hair, but Kyungsoo pushes it away defensively before he can make contact. He sighs. “Don’t act like you’re the only one who cares about him. He’s like the dumb little brother I never had who my boyfriend left me for and then I had to listen to y’all have sex for the next five years, but I still care about him. Again, let me repeat, I  _ saved _ him.”

Kyungsoo watches Jongin’s chest rise and fall again. He remembers the dream, the weird hall-whistle sound and the feeling that accompanied it. The men shooting at them. The darts in his chest and the burn through his body afterward, making his mind and body not want to work together.

“So what happened?” Yifan prompts. “Lovers’ quarrel? You leveled a motel.”

Kyungsoo thinks his brain must be shutting down in sectors. He feels hollow. Self-preservation kicking in. “Did I kill anyone,” he hears himself ask, but it sounds robotic and far away.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Yifan answers. “Dae checked it out. Some dude got a broken leg, but he’ll live. It wasn’t  _ nearly _ as bad.”

“I’ve been seeing bits and pieces of the past when I sleep,” Kyungsoo mumbles. A sob takes him by surprise, and his vision blurs momentarily as his eyes sting. “He tried to wake me up once a couple of days back because he was too weak to teleport us away.” And now Jongin had recovered just enough to actually succeed.

“Sounds like a shitty honeymoon,” Yifan says, lifting a brow when Kyungsoo looks over. “What? When all of our friends are dead and we’re stuck in the past with no legitimate way to live, you quickly learn to not give a shit about a lot of things. Not all of us can just get amnesia and spare ourselves.”

He ignores the barb, and instead focuses on something Yifan had said. “It wasn’t nearly as bad as what?” Kyungsoo tries to recall what happened before he went to sleep. Something seemed important. “Colorado—”

“Colorado,” Yifan says at the same time. “Yeah, that’s something I’d rather forget too.”

Kyungsoo looks over at him. “Tell me what happened.”

Yifan raises his brows again, looking amused. “I’m not Jongin, Soo. I’m not gonna bark just because you said ‘speak’.”

It makes him angry so quickly, the way Yifan can casually treat this like a petty reunion of exes. Kyungsoo wonders briefly if this is his normal reaction or if this was that past/future side of him that seems to loom in his subconscious. “Please,” he adds, trying to hold back a glare.

“Tao jumped us back right in the middle of a shitload of techs and guards. Not his fault for not knowing. They took us out.” Yifan shrugs, like he was giving a tv show recap. “I think they were trying to salvage golden boy here,” he nods his chin toward Jongin. “But he kept fighting, and then you freaked out and pulled the damn Rockies down on us.”

Kyungsoo feels numb again, and waits silently for Yifan to continue.

“Sehun…” And he was almost able to hide it, but Kyungsoo hears the shakiness in his breath as he pauses. “Kid was already bleeding out, but he managed to form a shield around us. Air versus a mountain of rubble.” He scoffs, shaking his head as if that’ll shake away the pain of the memory. “Luhan guided Jongin to us…” Another shaky pause. “Then we were topside, and the ground started trying to open up again, and then you three vanished.” He tries to shrug but the casual, easy expression has cracked. “So I had to deal with a fucking...dead body and Luhan screaming that he could still hear Minseok underneath and—” He grimaces, jaw clenched tight as he glares at his feet. 

Yifan recovers enough, pasting on another strained smile. “And then next time I hear from anybody, I’m told Dae tried to kill you, but Nini interfered. And now here we are.”

Kyungsoo has nothing to say. He can picture, too easily, everything that Yifan says. It was just like his dream, except now there was more context.

“So what’d you do that could piss off  _ Jongdae  _ that badly?”

He can feel his head shaking, but Kyungsoo thinks his body is just on autopilot right now.

“Or did you mean all of it? Did you forget everything? You know who you are, right?”

“Yes.”  _ He _ killed almost all of his friends.  _ He _ almost killed Jongin. Kyungsoo looks over slowly after Yifan nudges him with a foot.

“Don’t feel bad. It won’t change anything. Guilt is useless. Survival is all we can aim for these days.”

Maybe he should let Yifan take Jongin back to somewhere safe. It burns Kyungsoo’s chest to think about losing him, the possibility that he’ll just go back to selling soups to fishermen day in and day out, never seeing him again. It would be the right thing to do, but even now, Kyungsoo can’t stomach the idea.

Yifan gets ahold of Jongin’s hair after all, smoothing it over to one side and picking at a patch of dried blood with his fingernail. “He was drooling all over you from day one. It was so obvious, and everyone knew. The stupid little puppy who trailed you everywhere. Sehun was a brat, but Nini here was always such a little baby. So eager to please. Of course you’d go for the kid who would listen and let you order him around.”

Kyungsoo can feel the tear tracks drying on his face, the skin pulling along the lines. “He’s not like that.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard way too much of your sex life to believe that.”

“It’s me who’s wrapped around his finger, not the other way around,” Kyungsoo says, staring at Jongin’s face. Please just wake up for a little bit so he can say goodbye. It would be easier if he could at least say goodbye.

Yifan snorts loudly. “Sentiment is almost as bad as guilt. I’m gonna go see if Yixing’s made his way here yet.”

And then it was just Kyungsoo and Jongin. He doesn’t know if Jongin’s actually hurting anywhere, or if it was just...he’s covered in blood. He must be hurting somewhere. Carefully, gingerly, Kyungsoo climbs onto the couch alongside him, laying right on the edge. He lifts Jongin’s head gently onto his arm and brushes the messy hair out of Jongin’s face. No reaction. Jongin was like a rag doll. 

The tears leave him drained, and Kyungsoo’s eyes eventually flutter shut.

—

“Careful, Kyungsoo,” a soft voice says. Someone was restraining his wrist. He opens his eyes, blinking away the sleep residue. At least it was a dreamless sleep this time. Kyungsoo twists his head enough to see the first guy that Jongin brought to visit him. Yixing lets his wrist go and offers a small smile as Kyungsoo sits up.

Jongin’s body is warm again, although he can’t be sure if it is from his own body heat or not. Yixing reaches over him to rest a palm flat over Jongin’s heart, and Kyungsoo watches as more color returns to Jongin’s skin in minutes.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asks, forcing the words to come out of his scratchy throat.

“I'm healing him,” Yixing says, voice strained. “He's really weak.”

Kyungsoo has a brief flashback to when they first met—or what he remembers as their first meeting anyway, where Jongin insisted that he let Yixing hold his hand and the disappointment after.

“Is he going to be okay?”

Yixing glances over to him briefly and offers a distracted smile. “He will be. Give it some time, his body is good at healing itself.”

“Not lately,” Kyungsoo says.

“There,” Yixing says, lifting his hand away. He had sweat beading along his brow from the effort. “That's all I can do for him for now, but he'll be okay to be moved.”

There's an awkward silence after, where Kyungsoo stares at Jongin's face, hoping and waiting for him to wake up.

“Yifan is taking a walk outside,” Yixing says, swiping at the dampness on his own face. “Or maybe patrolling for Jongdae showing up. I'm not quite sure.” He smiles.

“I’m—” Kyungsoo starts, but the rest of the words die in his mouth. What, he's sorry? Sorry is too little, too late now.

His thoughts are transparent on his face. “Don't blame yourself, Kyungsoo,” Yixing says. “That'd be like if Tao blamed himself for saving all of us except Joonmyun, or Sehun saving everyone he could reach in time, but not the others. You still saved us.”

“They’re dead though. Because of me.”

“No. They died to save the rest of us. Like you were ready to,” Yixing says. “You were doing well. You lost control. It wasn't your fault.”

That doesn't make him feel any better. He doesn't want to feel better. 

“Will- when will he wake up?” 

“I don't know,” Yixing says, shrugging helplessly. “I only healed the worst of it and coaxed his body into doing the rest.”

The door swings open and smacks loudly into the adjacent wall as Yifan rushes in, beelining for Jongin. “Dae's here. Time to go.” 

“No.”

“Soo, don't fight me on this,” he says, scowling when Kyungsoo prevents him from scooping Jongin up.

“Can we let him come here instead?” Kyungsoo asks.

Yifan stops trying and gives him an annoyed glare. “You  _ do  _ remember the part where he tried to  _ kill _ you, right?”

“I don't, actually. Please just let him come here. Let me talk to him.”

“Are you so guilt-ridden right now, you actually want to die? To the point that you want Nini to live with his brother killing his boyfriend as he lays unconscious?”

Kyungsoo feels guilt, yes. But he's numb enough to understand that it's not guilt driving this. “I just want someone to tell me what happened. And I have to talk to him about Jongin. Please.”

The stare-off lasts several agonizing minutes with Yifan looking over at Yixing for backup and not getting it. He huffs out a long, defeated sigh. “Come outside then. At least if Zeus starts throwing lightning bolts, he won't set your house on fire.”

Yifan leads them to the dock where Jongin usually meets him. If Kyungsoo squints, he can see a man on the beach, an arm upraised. Yixing grabs him by the arm and encourages him to step back a few paces.

Yifan looks over his shoulder back at Kyungsoo. “Last chance: are you sure you want to do this?”

Kyungsoo nods. “Yes.”

Yifan gives a small nod in return and looks back at the beach. Kyungsoo is still confused as to why they're standing out here waiting when Jongdae must be a thirty minute raft ride away, when a loud fluttering sound, like dozens of birds simultaneously taking flight, fill the air and large black wings, easily twice the length of his body, unfold behind Yifan. He crouches minutely and launches into the sky, kicking up sand and rippling water as he soars toward the beach. It takes just over a minute for him to land.

Yixing squeezes Kyungsoo's shoulder. “I hope you know what you're doing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. It was kind of hard to write, so it took a while. Plus real life, and ...yeah. Anyway, the amazing, the wonderful, the bestest At1stSight beta'd this and kept it from being a hot ass mess for me. Thank you so much, my lovely!


	16. Chapter 16

Kyungsoo’s palms are stinging. He realizes he’s been tensing his entire body up and clenching his hands into fists, nails digging crescents into the skin. Yifan and Jongdae are still on the beach, occasionally glancing his way every minute or so. The anticipation was killing him. He has no real options. He’s not a fighter. Here, he can’t even use the powers that he apparently has no control over. Jongin is unconscious and helpless inside the house. Kyungsoo has absolutely no defense against lightning. Maybe this plan was a little ill-thought out. As in, he didn't have one.

“I can’t heal you if you die, by the way,” Yixing offers helpfully. “So just keep breathing and get far enough away from him, and I can probably patch you up.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, keeping his eyes on the two people on the beach. “That’s very comforting.”

“I don't  _ think  _ Dae can reach us from here if you want to hoof it to the other side of the town and get on a boat…”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “He wants to take Jongin away. I have to talk to him.”

“That's his baby brother,” Yixing says. “He's not gonna hurt him.”

“Not knowingly,” Kyungsoo counters. On the beach, Yifan embraces Jongdae and his wings rematerialize, spreading back out. He kicks up a whirl of sand as he soars back to the village, albeit much slower this time. Kyungsoo doesn't know if it's because of the added weight or if he's trying to stall.

They land at the dock, as if they were arriving by raft, and Yifan holds onto Jongdae, muttering something in his ear. Yixing steps forward, placing himself between Jongdae and Kyungsoo. He couldn't read the expression on Jongdae's face, but something crackles and Yifan yelps, releasing Jongdae and shaking his hands out. Jongdae advances on Yixing, patting him on the shoulder and trying to sidestep, but Yixing keeps shielding Kyungsoo, which prompts an annoyed growl from Jongdae.

“Is this your cavalry, Soo?” Jongdae asks, voice low even as the corners of his mouth turn up in a wry smile.

Kyungsoo gently pushes Yixing to the side, facing him head on now. “Are you going to try to kill me?”

“Are you gonna try to stop me from saving my brother?” Jongdae counters, the underlying threat coming across clear in his voice.

“I have to talk to you about him,” Kyungsoo says, flinching at Jongdae's wording. “It's important.”.

“Yeah, yeah, he loves you, you two wanna be together. I get it, but I'd rather have a sad living brother than a happy dead one.” Jongdae says, walking forward to the house. Kyungsoo has no real choice but to follow and carry his argument inside.

—

“Oh, Nini,” Jongdae breathes out, patting Jongin on the cheek once before slumping onto the floor in front of him. “You idiot, what did you do…”

“You need to let him stay here with me,” Kyungsoo says, standing by the other end of the couch. “He has this stupid plan to fix things, and this will just keep getting worse.”

Jongdae laughs. It’s forced and pained and eventually he brings himself to look up at Kyungsoo. “I want to say I’m glad you survived...but he almost died last time because of you, and now he almost died again. It would’ve been better if you had died. I would have accepted living with that.”

That stung, but Kyungsoo takes a breath and shakes it off. “Did you not hear me? If you take him back, he’ll stay convinced that he can fix everything, and this is just going to happen again.”

“There’s nothing he can  _ do _ ,” Jongdae insists.

“What is he trying to do though?” Yifan asks, settling back into the other couch. Kyungsoo considers asking them to leave or at least step out, but Yifan seems determined to plant himself in the middle of this, giving him a look and crossing his arms as if daring Kyungsoo to actually try to ask.

Kyungsoo throws his hands up. “I don’t know! I don’t know, he- He jumped through time? A month? So he’s going to try and go to the future and save us before Tao jumps us all back to the past? It sounded complicated and insane, but he’s dead set on it. You need to leave him here. Please. I can talk to him.”

“There’s no way he jumped-” Yifan says at the same time Jongdae asks, “So he really did jump-?”

Kyungsoo waves his hands in front of him. “You’re missing the point. The point is I found him unconscious, barely breathing, when he jumped. And then every time he teleported after, it got worse. He needs to stop. I can convince him. Let him stay with me.”

“How the  _ fuck _ did he jump?” Yifan practically shouts, sitting up straighter. “We all have one power. Just one. He can’t- Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Yifan…” Jongdae warns.

“No!” Yifan says, jumping up now. “No, we all have  _ one _ . Otherwise, we’d all be fucking alive right now, because Tao could’ve jumped us to somewhere else. He couldn’t have jumped. His dumb ass might have  _ tried _ , and that’s why we’re where we are now, but—”

“He did,” Kyungsoo says, glaring at him. “He was gone for a month. He wouldn’t lie to me. You’re missing the  _ point _ . He  _ can’t  _ do it again or it might kill him.”

“If he could’ve done it, then why the hell did he not help Tao with the load then?” Yifan says, barely coherent through his gasps. Yixing tries to pull him back down on the couch, whispering something and rubbing his arm reassuringly.

“That’s bullshit, Yifan. Don’t blame him for this,” Jongdae snarls, now perching on the edge of the couch where Jongin was lying. “He’s been trying recently. He told me about it. I didn’t believe he could do it. I didn’t think there was any danger.”

“So please, let him stay here,” Kyungsoo repeats.

Jongdae shakes his head, looking at Kyungsoo with incredulous eyes. “You don’t remember anything, right? You don’t remember why you’re stuck back here again, do you?”

“I brought...the base down on us…” Kyungsoo says, lowering his gaze to the floor. “I got everyone killed. You tried to kill me, and Jongin stopped you.”

“I tried to kill you,” Jongdae says, his eyes hardening. “Because you were killing my brother. You couldn’t control your powers after you pulled the base down. So he kept teleporting us everywhere, and everywhere we went, you kept opening the ground up. He was going to burn out, and he didn’t  _ fucking _ care.”

_ Now _ he has flashbacks. Now he can visualize it. Still holding a death grip onto Jongdae’s arm as Jongin jumped them from place to place in panic, trying to stop the earthquakes as the pressure in Kyungsoo’s head built to an unbearable level. His blood turns to ice in his veins; he almost killed Jongin.

Jongdae watches him steadily. “You can love him all you want, but look at what’s happened since. You almost killed him again. Last time, I was there and...” he says, gesturing toward the scar on the side of Kyungsoo’s face. “And then Jongin shoved me off and made one last jump to here. And that about did him in. He might’ve looked worse than he did now, actually. It took days for him to recover enough to be moved. His powers have been majorly weakened ever since. You still can’t control yours. I can’t always be there to keep you from killing him again.”

Kyungsoo’s face is wet and his chest hurts, but he feels oddly numb. “I won’t leave the village,” he promises. “Let him stay here. Just let me talk to him. My powers don’t work here.”

“You  _ do _ know this is the second time I’ve come to your home to pick up my bloodied and half-dead baby brother, right? Am I supposed to just wait and pick up a corpse in a month? Explain to our parents that, yes, I could’ve saved him, but was too weak to do what he needed?”

“I have to—”

“We were like brothers,” Jongdae says, looking at him sadly. “All of us, really, but you and me were partners first. You don’t remember anything, right? We were partnered for the first year, and  _ every  _ day, Jongin would come bug us about some inane, trivial thing, or he’d bring lunch, or not even have an excuse and just hang around, telling dumb jokes. He’s an awkward little hermit and a cheapass, and he still came every day, bringing offerings, because he wanted to get closer to you. And I knew, way back then, that it was a bad idea for him to keep pursuing you because we all worked together—”

“Not to mention we were  _ dating _ ,” Yifan pipes up, disgruntled.

“Oh, get the fuck over it, that was a lifetime ago,” Jongdae growls at him before turning back to Kyungsoo. “This relationship was a terrible idea from the start. I know that’s irrelevant now, and you two care about each other, but I have to take him back home. Our parents were all murdered in the future. We have them again now. This is a blessing and a second chance. Jongin’s been fighting this. He’s been avoiding coming home. If he can just be around our parents again, in our home again, he will remember that there are other important people in his life too. He’ll give up this stupid plan. You two can both move on.”

Move on. Kyungsoo flounders and it takes several tries to get his mouth to work. “I love him,” he croaks out weakly. “Please let me help him.”

“You can help him by not trying to fight me on this. He needs to get back to London and heal and be with his family. If you love him, you’d know I’m right.” Jongdae’s voice is gentle, and his eyes have softened, which makes it so much worse than before.

The rest of the day becomes a blur. Kyungsoo doesn’t remember speaking again. Eventually Jongdae claps his arm comfortingly and Yifan hauls Jongin out of the couch, slinging him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Kyungsoo felt like he should have leapt to his feet and fought, screamed, begged, but he just sat there on the ground, numb. He doesn’t even follow them as they all file out of the small house. His family filter in through the door a little bit later, hours later, he’s not sure. They try to talk to him. His mom cries and shakes him, but it’s like he’s not quite in his own body anymore.

It’s the middle of the night when he finally climbs into the couch on stiff, achy limbs, burrowing his face into the cushion and trying to breath in whatever residual scent Jongin left behind. There wasn’t much. In fact, there wasn’t really anything here of Jongin’s. All he had were his memories, and even they were sparse. This felt like purgatory.

But he almost killed Jongin. Twice. At  _ least _ . Maybe purgatory is what he deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking SO DAMN LONG to update! I've been dreading writing this chapter, because...this was what was supposed to happen, and it was painful and UGH. Anyway, Kyungsoo is moping and SAD and emo and just...bear with me.


	17. Chapter 17

Hell isn't fire and agony.

Hell is feeling nothing. Hell is monotony to the point where your existence makes no difference. Anybody else could be sitting on this boat, selling soup to hungry fishermen. Kyungsoo cannot even track the days. Every day is the same as the last.

No more memories come back. He's running on a very finite amount of memories of Jongin.

It doesn't hurt anymore. He simply feels...nothing. He exists. He survives. He eats, he wakes up, he sells soup, he goes home, he eats, he sleeps. His parents are happy because Jongin and the Other Scary Men were gone. His brother is off trying to hide that he had knocked up their neighbor. As for Kyungsoo…

Kyungsoo dreams. He remembers, every night, the look on Tao’s face, the light winking out of his eyes as his irises burn away to match the whites of his eyes before crumpling lifeless to the ground. Except it's never Tao’s face, of course. It's Jongin's.

Because of him. Because Jongin would do anything for him right up until Jongin dropped dead mid-sentence.

He remembers Jongin collapsing in Spain. Waking up to find him covered in blood and panicking. Always too willing to try and do more.

Some days, he's not sure if he's remembering Jongin's face correctly. Which side of his lips was higher? Was that really how the bridge of his nose looked in profile? Sometimes, he lies awake at night, wondering how Jongin is doing, and can't picture him at all. He hasn't forgotten, but the malaise clogs his brain, substitutes Jongin's image with some random fisherman or tourist or just a generic combination of features, and then Kyungsoo is filled with guilt on top of the ache.

What if, what if, what if. What if Jongin woke up and tried to teleport back to him and didn't make it all the way? Would they even tell him? How would they even contact him? How can he even contact them to check how things were going? What if they're keeping Jongin in London against his will and he's trapped, waiting and hoping Kyungsoo will come for him? What if the people who ran the bunker — what if there are more of them, and they attack when Jongin is still weak and recovering? When Kyungsoo is absolutely defenseless?

It's been several months now, and wishful thinking has filled in some gaps in his mind that has made imagination nearly indistinguishable from actual memories, settling into the spaces left behind from Jongin's stories. It doesn't matter. This Jongin, this past, dream or memory, feels like the only thing that keeps him going.

—

There's someone sitting up against the pole when Kyungsoo pulls his raft up to the dock at the end of his day. The silhouette seems familiar, and he recognizes who it is as he steps closer.

“Jongin!” No response. Kyungsoo breaks into a short sprint and barks out a laugh in relief when the body before him lets out a soft snore and tries to snuggle more comfortably against the wood. He crouches down in front of Jongin, blocking the setting sun from the younger man's face.

Jongin looks better, definitely. Kind of green and tired, bags under his eyes and a dullness in his skin, but still way better than last time. His hair has grown out. Much nicer clothing than the bloody tourist wear from cheap Spanish gas stations too. Still stick skinny though.

Jongin's eyes slowly open and focus on Kyungsoo's face. “Hyung?” he says groggily, voice still raspy from sleep as he wipes at his eyes. “Please don't make me leave.”

Kyungsoo watches Jongin try and fail to suppress a yawn. He reaches out and touches Jongin's knee. “... You're really here,” he manages to say after several tries.

“Please don't make me leave,” Jongin repeats, sitting straight up and grabbing Kyungsoo's hand. “It was really hard to get here.”

“Did you—” Kyungsoo sputters and trips over the words in his rush and agitation. “Did you  _ teleport _ here? I swear to  _ god _ , Kim Jongin—”

“I flew,” Jongin hurriedly explains. “And then I had to take a cab. And then a bus. And then another cab. And then a tiny, shaky little raft.” He grimaces at the little raft tied off near them and Kyungsoo flashes back to Jongin driving them through Spain, how much he hated it. How much Jongin hates pretty much any sort of transportation. That would explain why he looked so green at least.

“You  _ swear _ …”

Jongin nods emphatically. “I...figured you'd make me leave if I used my powers.”

“Or you'd _ die _ , dummy…” Kyungsoo brushes a lock of hair out of Jongin's eyes and caresses his cheekbone, still in disbelief that Jongin's in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

Jongin's eyes slowly water and he looks down, gnawing on the inside of his lip. “I know you don't...remember us. I understand what you said about it...not meaning as much to you as it does to me, but…” A teardrop makes its way down Jongin's cheek and drips off his chin. Another lands on the side of Kyungsoo's finger resting against his other cheek and follows along the outline of his hand. Jongin's chest heaves and he tries to push his words through even as he sobs. “But you loved me once. You can fall in love with me again. I  _ know _ —”

Jongin gives up on speech and reaches out to cling to him. Kyungsoo holds him until the sobs and gasps fade into hiccups, until Jongin's breathing steadies. He inhales Jongin's scent greedily as he rubs comforting circles into Jongin's back. “How can I not love you?” he whispers, brushing Jongin's hair back again. “I missed you so much. I was so worried, but I had no idea how to check on you. I couldn't leave...”

“I came back as soon as I could,” Jongin says, voice thick and raspy. “I had to...get a stupid passport and paperwork filed and...my family was just-...” He looks up nervously into Kyungsoo's eyes. “You love me?”

Leaning forward like this was making his back ache. Kyungsoo climbs onto Jongin's lap, rearranging their limbs and holding Jongin's head to his chest. “I love you,” he confirms. “I thought about you every waking moment. I dreamt about you every night. I'm so fucking glad you're okay.”

Jongin pulls back and licks his bottom lip thoughtfully, staring into Kyungsoo's eyes. “Do you remember then?” He manages a weak pout. “Because you could've led with that, you know.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, leaning down to nuzzle into the crook of Jongin's neck. “I don't. Maybe they're burned away, or maybe they'll come back eventually. But I love you with or without them. We can make new ones.”

They both go silent, embracing on the dock as the sun starts to set behind them. Inevitably, Jongin's stomach interrupts the peace with a loud grumble.

“Did I mention it took nearly three days to get here,” Jongin grumbles along with his stomach. “Because it took nearly three days to get here, and travel food sucks.”

“My poor baby,” Kyungsoo teases, smiling against his skin. “Let's go home, dinner is probably ready.”

“Your parents hate me…” Jongin mutters. “And your mom always leaves the skin on the fish.”

“Are you staying?” Kyungsoo blurts out. Jongin's eyes widen in surprise. “Is this just a visit, or are you here to stay?” he clarifies.

Jongin shoots him a look. “I go where you go.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says, pressing a chaste peck on to the corner of Jongin's mouth and then climbing to his feet, offering Jongin his hand. “I'm going to dinner. We'll figure out the rest after.”

—

“Well, Yifan was there when I woke up,” Jongin explains, scowling at the memory. “He laid into me about how my plan made no sense and wouldn't work. He paid attention when Tao was learning, I guess.”

His parents...didn't take Jongin's reappearance well. Kyungsoo can see where they're coming from, but there could be no compromising on this. For now, they’re in his and Seungsoo’s room —  _ alone _ , thankfully, as Seungsoo has to attend to his new baby-mama. They'll figure everything else out tomorrow.

“So you’re giving up that terrible,  _ terrible _ plan then?” Kyungsoo confirms.

“It wasn’t that bad of a plan…” Jongin argues.

“It really was though,” Kyungsoo says, smirking and dodging out of the way as Jongin tries to pinch at his sides.

“Be nice to me,” Jongin whines, splaying out on top of him. The bed is too cramped for them to really comfortably lay side by side. “I sat next to screaming babies for hours for you.”

“You know everyone else in the world has to travel that way,” Kyungsoo chides.

“But  _ we _ don't…”

“We do now,” Kyungsoo says, raising his eyebrows and daring him to argue. “At least for a while.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “I  _ know _ .” He worms his fingers under Kyungsoo's shirt and traces imaginary patterns along the skin.

“I missed you so much,” Kyungsoo mumbles, combing his fingers through Jongin's hair.

“Not  _ too  _ much, apparently. You haven't even kissed me yet.”

“I did,” Kyungsoo argues. “Back on the dock.”

“That's the kind of kiss I get for a joyful reunion after months of painful separation?”

Kyungsoo rolls them onto their sides and leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of Jongin's nose. “There,” he smirks. “Better?”

Predictably, a pout and an unamused look. Jongin's hand move over the front of his chest and Kyungsoo jerks a moment later, the fingers finding one of his nipples and pinching. “Nope.”

Kyungsoo pulls the offending hand out of his shirt, but Jongin, ever the opportunist, dips it lower and cups his crotch, squeezing gently. Kyungsoo gasps in surprise and reaches down to pull the hand away, but Jongin manages to quickly dip his fingers beneath the waistband and wrap them around Kyungsoo's rapidly fattening shaft, squeezing and stroking deftly. “Wait,” he gasps, struggling to keep his voice down. “Jongin, my parents are right in the next room over.”

His complaint would probably carry a little more weight if he wasn't rolling his hips and fucking into Jongin's hand. “I just want a proper kiss,” Jongin demands with a wicked look, speeding up his motions.

The kiss is too hungry and messy to be considered proper, but Jongin offers no complaints even as their teeth clack together or when Kyungsoo accidentally nips his lower lip a little too hard. “We can't,” he moans into Jongin's mouth, after Jongin somehow manages to drag both of their pants down past their thighs and pull Kyungsoo on top of him.

“Can't what?” Jongin says innocently, his fist flying over Kyungsoo's cock.

Kyungsoo's own hand stutters over Jongin's erection, grinding down against it. “We can't,” he repeats weakly. “You get too fucking loud.”

“Yeah, that argument didn't do shit last time,” Jongin reminds him smugly, making his way down Kyungsoo's body.

Kyungsoo’s eyes roll right back into his head as Jongin takes Kyungsoo's entire length smoothly down his throat. There's no way his parents didn't hear the groan he made, and it was unmistakable that it was a sexual one. But he's weak, and fucks into Jongin's velvety hot mouth for several blissful seconds before he reluctantly pulls out, only to have Jongin's tongue dig into the slit and flick expertly over the head until Kyungsoo can pin him down, panting heavily as he tries to pull their pants up.

“Your argument was that  _ I'm _ loud?” Jongin snarks.

They're face to face again. Kyungsoo stares at him, into Jongin's rich brown eyes, and sees the irises burning white from his dreams. It sobers him up immediately. “How could you not tell me?”

“How could you not know how loud you get?” Jongin says, raising an amused eyebrow. 

“How could you not tell me that I almost killed you? That I got our friends killed? How could you keep that from me?” His voice is surprisingly steady.

Something shifts behind Jongin's eyes. “You didn't,” he says, voice completely serious now. “You  _ saved _ us. And they did something to you so you couldn't control your powers. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But you almost died.”

“Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

“ _ Jongin _ ,” Kyungsoo says firmly.

“Because you would just blame yourself,” Jongin says, looking him over. “And I was going to fix it. It—”

“But you're  _ not _ going to try anymore, right?” Kyungsoo butts in. “Promise me.”

Jongin's eyes harden. “If you stop blaming yourself, then I won't try anymore.”

Kyungsoo gapes. “It's not blame, Jongin. It’s fact. You almost  _ died _ —”

“That was my choice!”

“If Jongdae wasn't there with us, you—”

“ _ Dae _ took you away from me,” Jongin shouts suddenly. “He almost killed you, and he took all of our memories from you. You didn't even  _ recognize _ me!”

“He wasn't trying to,” Kyungsoo says, wrapping his arms around Jongin and pulling him close again. “He was doing the only thing he could think of that would save you. I'm glad he did.”

“You—”

“Would you rather I had to live with the knowledge that I killed you? That I have to live without you and it was my fault? Is that what you wanted for me?”

Jongin shakes his head against Kyungsoo's shirt. “That's why I had to fix it…” he argues.

“You almost died. You have to let that plan go.” Kyungsoo's voice is firm. “Or you have to leave. If you insist on trying to kill yourself, if I have to live in fear that I'm going to find your dead body on the dock one afternoon, then I'd rather just not have you.”

Jongin stares at him, searching his eyes for a long moment. He looks so helpless. Kyungsoo can relate. “Then you have to stop blaming yourself,” he repeats.

“Jongin—”

“I can live with our friends being gone. I've accepted that. But you can’t expect me to sit by and do nothing if you’re going to blame yourself.” He looks so tired, so worn down. Kyungsoo opens his mouth, and Jongin quickly adds, “Which you shouldn’t blame yourself, by the way. Because you really did save us. You did all you could.  _ Everyone _ else knows that. Even Jongdae.”

It’s quiet for a long time. He can see Jongin suppressing a yawn as he tries to hold his ground. It was getting late. “You said Yifan told you that your plan won’t even work,” Kyungsoo says.

“I can find a new plan,” Jongin says. Threatens, really. Stubborn asshole.

Kyungsoo sighs. “Do you know what you’re asking of me?”

“To accept the truth and move on with me,” Jongin answers. Kyungsoo stares at him. “You’ll have me there to help,” he adds.

They are just going in circles. This wasn’t going to go anywhere. He looks at Jongin’s face, strokes his cheek, feels the warmth of his skin. Jongin’s really here now. He’s here to stay. That should be all that matters. Everything else at least can wait.

“Okay,” he says. He can tell Jongin doesn’t buy it either.

“Okay?” Jongin repeats.

“Yeah.” It’s a promise to try at least.

“So where can we go in this place to get some privacy?” Jongin asks, giving him a lewd look, undeterred by Kyungsoo pushing his face away.

“Go to sleep. I’ll give you a proper welcome tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Soo is emo as fuck in the first part of the chapter. :\ So, sorry to spring it on you, but this is basically the end. I forgot to mention in the previous chapter that that was...second to last chapter, but...yeah. Um, there's gonna be an epilogue. And then there will be a bonus, which should...make up for the suddenness, right? Hopefully? The bonus is *** so there's that.


	18. Chapter 18

Jongin sucks at fishing.

In fact, since he’s dedicated pretty much his entire adult life to honing just one skill that has absolutely  _ no _ use in a tiny little floating village in the middle of Nakdong River, he kind of lacks a lot of practical life skills in general. Arrested development, someone bravely told them once.

Selling soup isn’t hard, but Jongin has no patience for it and can’t stand being cooped up in a tiny boat full of dirty bowls all day long. The first couple of days were novel so that kept him occupied enough, but by the end of the week, even Kyungsoo was ready to toss him overboard.

Lucky for him, his parents are rich—wealthy, actually—and would be heartbroken if their youngest had to do without. It allows them to buy Mr. Kwon’s old houseboat that he keeps around to rent to tourists, so they can at least have some privacy and a place of their own. Jongin was especially appreciative to be out of Kyungsoo’s parents’ home, away from his mother’s disapproving looks, out of their cramped spaces. He holds back nothing in their new residence, wailing out his orgasm as he rides Kyungsoo hard on their little mattress. The neighbors hear, but Jongin is unrepentant.

Jongin also hates living in the village. He has explained that while Kyungsoo draws his power from the earth itself, and charges up like a battery, Jongin’s power comes from within and grows, like an itch under his skin. Points around the world start calling to him. Some nights, Kyungsoo can feel the familiar static charging the air, and Jongin gets manic and hyper and needs to go several rounds to wear him down and distract him enough so they can at least go to sleep.

They set sail after a couple of months. He feels extremely guilty, leaving his parents. But his brother’s new bride can sell the soup, and they leave a large sum of money behind, not that his parents need it. Everyone in the village has just enough of what they need, and more money doesn’t really afford much better luxuries in a place that never grows or changes.

At night, Jongin whispers stories of the future—their past—to him. Of all the friends they’ve lost. People he once saw as brothers. Of how their families were used as hostages and then, eventually, discarded anyway. Of the experiments. Trying to figure out what it was about the twelve of them that gave them these special abilities. What exactly inside them made them tick, as if cutting deep enough into the goose could reveal an infinite source of golden eggs. People whose faces he can’t even recall, sacrificing themselves to buy the others time to run. It’s hard to stomach. It fills in the spaces between his nightmares, the glimpses of a past burnt away for the sake of self-preservation. But Kyungsoo insists, and bears it, because he has to know.

But all of that is knowledge, not memory. It’s learned. It leaves him feeling hollow, like he’s just a robot that’s fed information, and doesn’t have a soul of its own. Some memories come back, with Jongin’s help, but in the grand scheme of their lives, they’re irrelevant. Kyungsoo treasures them nonetheless. Like Jongin shyly asking him, “Hyung, can I top tonight?” and Kyungsoo lying back and coaxing a nervous, baby-faced Jongin into his body, watching his movements gain confidence as they both get swept up in the sensations. They pull up to shore that night and Kyungsoo demands a reenactment to help solidify the memory.

Jongin teleports them to nearby towns. He has to, or he goes stir-crazy. It’s panic-inducing, but Jongin tells him that he’s aware of his limits, just like he was aware of them all the previous times (with exception to when they went to Spain, because he was high off excitement that time). They also stop in some shores and allow Kyungsoo’s powers to fill up so he can practice again. He sobs the first time he manages to skitter some rocks across the water. It makes him feel whole, like there was a whole side of him that’s been neglected. He sobs again when they have to return to the boat and sail out to deeper waters, feeling the energy seep out of him. Baby steps, Jongin coos reassuringly into his hair, and they try again the next day, and the next. 

Jongin brings him to Colorado. To ground zero. It took a lot of convincing for him to do it, but he finally relented, and Kyungsoo falls to his knees, hands digging into the dirt, feeling the crushed facility underneath them. The flora had grown back over the land. It was as if no tragedy had ever happened here. There were no other survivors, Jongin tells him. He had tried teleporting down there dozens of times after it happened, to see if there was anything else he could do, which was risky and stupid and dangerous, but they and the other four were the only ones to make it out.

Meeting Luhan was difficult. He reminds Kyungsoo too much of himself. Except he lost his lover, and Kyungsoo didn’t. He held onto Minseok’s mind until it went silent as Jongin skipped across the world trying to keep Kyungsoo alive, instead of being able to rescue him. Even when he smiles, Luhan’s eyes are haunted, broken. He says he doesn’t blame Jongin, and he definitely doesn’t blame Kyungsoo. He did. He used to. He blamed himself. He blamed everyone. But with time comes reflection and perspective, and he knows that were either Jongin or Kyungsoo able to, they would have done all they could to save Minseok and the rest of their group. And not only does he  _ know _ , he  _ accepts _ . His heart hurts, but it’s dulled down to an ache now. There’s an emptiness, but finally, after mourning in isolation for so long, reaching back out to the rest of their little makeshift family, he feels like he can move on.

Meeting Jongdae again is a bit awkward. He does the big brother act, giving Kyungsoo stern looks and thinly veiled threats, although considering their past, his aggression is entirely warranted. They came back to London for Jongin’s parents’ anniversary, and Jongdae took that as an opportunity to reunite the whole group. It was odd, to celebrate the life of two people who’ve died in your own history, to have them look upon you and give their blessings. Odd to say the least.

Yifan is much more tolerable now that he’s gotten a new boyfriend. He even manages to get Luhan to laugh to the point of tears streaming down his face over some obnoxious prank they did in the past/future. They laze around on the patio, around a firepit, late into the night. The city has too much light pollution to see the stars, but they all stare up into the sky nonetheless. It isn’t until the sun warms his face that Kyungsoo wakes up with the realization that it’s been months since he’s had nightmares. No one points this out, but as they depart, everyone comes up and claps him on the shoulder.

Their boat had drifted off from its original location when Jongin teleports them back a few days later, and there’s a frantic moment of them swimming around trying to find it before Jongin manages to jump them back to the deck. It’s been far too long, and Kyungsoo strips them both down and takes him right there, until Jongin’s a quivering, oversensitized, incoherent mess underneath him.

They come back to Kyungsoo’s village in time to welcome his nephew, Do Beomsil. It unnerves his parents to watch Jongin teleport them in and out of the house, but they’re grateful for the regular visits. Jongin’s parents are always thrilled to see both of them, and even Jongdae starts to come greet them warmly once he sees Jongin growing stronger again, no longer the skin-wrapped skeleton he was when they first reunited.

Time, it seems, heals a lot of wounds.

Their boat stays docked in the village now, since they rarely stay there anymore. It’s nice to be able to go globetrotting, but some days they go back to the beach that Kyungsoo spent months looking at and daydreaming, where he and Jongin build sandcastles for hours, before he shifts the sand to make a makeshift cave, and they can hide from the midday sun. Kyungsoo doesn’t really use his powers anymore. There’s not much use for it in this new life of theirs. But he will find pretty little stones and carve them into hearts or their initials or something, and Jongin’s eyes light up every time he gets a new one. 

Kyungsoo suggests they should have some sort of purpose, that they should use their powers to help. Jongin argues that that road will lead to the same future, because people will want to use them for their own purposes. And that they deserve this retirement. Getting to see all their family, seeing their friends regularly, touring the world. Really, they deserve this. Against all odds, they managed to survive, and not only that, to be the lucky ones who still have each other. To create a new future together. Kyungsoo can’t argue with that.

—

“How do I feel, Jonginnie?” Kyungsoo asks, smirking as he wipes at the sweat on Jongin’s brow.

“ _ Tight _ ,” Jongin gasps out, gripping his hips to still them. He leans his head back against the wall and tries to steady his breathing.

Kyungsoo rolls his hips forward, causing Jongin to whimper and bite down harshly on his lower lip. “Shh,” he coos out, stroking Jongin’s damp hair back. “My pretty baby, you can do it.”

“I’m so close, Soo,” Jongin whimpers, reaching down to tug on Kyungsoo’s cock again. His feet are planted, but he doesn’t dare to thrust up, teetering so close to the edge already.

“Should we put it back on?” Kyungsoo asks, nudging at the cockring laying next to Jongin’s thigh. He grins as Jongin shakes his head adamantly, gritting his teeth as his hand speeds up on Kyungsoo’s length.

“No, ahh,  _ fuck _ !” Jongin stutters out, crying out as Kyungsoo lifts up and drops back down quickly. He buries his face into Kyungsoo’s chest as his orgasm washes over him, cock twitching as Kyungsoo’s walls clench tight around him. “That’s cheating,” he whines.

Kyungsoo pulls off, feeling the hot liquid drip down his thigh as he lays back on the bed. He feels pride swelling as Jongin immediately rolls over to take his cock into his mouth, hollowing his flushed cheeks and suctioning hard. His legs spread even wider. “Clean up your mess, baby.”

Jongin looks up at him with hooded eyes as he swirls his tongue around the head, flicking into the slit before diving down between Kyungsoo’s legs, lapping at the trail on his thigh before making his way up to the cum leaking out of Kyungsoo’s hole. He moans, loud enough that it vibrates against Kyungsoo’s entrance, as the elder grips his hair roughly and brings Jongin’s mouth back to his hard cock, pushing him all the way down to the base and fucking into his throat.

“Mmm,” Kyungsoo hums, stroking Jongin’s cheek as the younger dutifully cleans up any remaining drops after Kyungsoo came. “I found a new place.”

Jongin gulps as he crawls back up and lays on Kyungsoo’s arm. “Like Brazil?”

“In Vietnam, this time,” Kyungsoo says. “Do you wanna go?”

There’s a little smile on Jongin’s lips, even as he tries to play it off and looks up at Kyungsoo shyly. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about this ending, but there it is. It's the end. Sad ending, but still kind of ok? There couldn't have been a perfect happy ending for them anyway. But anyway, there's gonna be a bonus. HOpefully I can get that knocked out soon. Was this ok?


End file.
